We signed Max up for swimming lessons at the YMCA. Since we live a block from a lake as well as the fact that there is a community pool in our area we thought it best if he would learn to float. He is only 15 months old so it is not likely he will wander down to the lake by himself, but a few basic survival skills in the water couldn’t hurt.
Or so, that is what we thought.
We took him to his first class on Monday. The instructor wanted us to teach him how to float on his back as well as get him used to holding his breath under water. How do you teach a 1 and ¼ year old kid to hold his breath?
First you teach them how to blow bubbles on the surface. Lauren lowers her face to the surface and blows the air to create the bubbling effect. She does this a few times until Max gets the idea. Now it’s his turn. He thinks the pool is a giant sippy cup and starts drinking the water. Okay not a good start.
The second way you teach a kid how hold his breadth is to dunk them. Over and over.
At first, the instructor dunked him twice, to show Lauren and myself the proper way to submerge him. Maxfield was not happy. Then it was my turn. I dunked him 3 or 4 times.
He started to cry so I handed him over to Lauren. Max looked at me, sprays of water and tears mixed on his cheeks, and if he could of spoke he would have said, “Dad, you are the biggest prick in the world.”
I felt horrible.
Then Lauren dunked him. He was pissed. There is a reason that the Spanish Inquisition and the Salem Witch Trials used dunking as a form of torture.
There are another 7 sessions for the class. I think they cover Tar and Feathering in week two.