Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Decoy

I don’t know how it is for girls, but when changing the diaper on a little boy as soon as the diaper comes off they immediately reach for their penis. Read the rest of the post here Poop and Boogies Review

31 comments:

The Rose Family said...

the reflex is just as strong in little girls. unfortunately.

Tara Wilburn said...

lmao. you made me laugh so good-i've never heard of PGR. i hvae a little girl and she is just starting to grab and shes 13mo. its quite simple to distract her-probably because there is nothing for her to really grab.
HOWEVER-there is always a however isnt there? i left my hubby in charge one night while i went to do the dishes. i left the water running in the bathtub and minutes later i hear him screamin "tara help! i need you! i cant control it!" so i run back to our room and he has my daughter on our new bed with new sheets and a new comforter. i look down at my daughter and she is trying to EAT her poopy diaper-i've got no idea how hubby let her get it. she had poop all over her and my bed :[[ i took the diaper away and wiped her off and handed her to my hubby to drop in the tub. her put her in the tub and start calling for me again-i get into the bathroom and she had peed all over him. i started laughing until i looked in the tub and realized she pooped again. i have never had a problem like that ever again, and i handle most of the diapers now. lol. by the time all 3 of us got cleaned up there was poop on everyone and spread between both rooms. i would up putting sleeping bags on the matress that night.

Dina said...

I have a baby girl who is almost 7 months and her poop is just now starting to slow down and firm up. When she was first born she was pooping with every diaper change. A few days after we came home, I was changing her diaper and as soon as i got her clean i was trying to place another huggies diaper under her and my mom was helping me and was holding her bottom up for me. Before I could get the diaper under and on her she started pooping in my moms hand. Yuck, it was a mess! I felt bad for my mom but she didn't seem to mind because she had 4 kids and I guess this was not a surprise to her.

James said...

Of our three boys, Truman is definitely our prime PGRer. I swear his stuff is like a stress relief ball to him.

txn_grl said...

@ James - LOL!! my hubby said the same thing about our son the other night cuz I was commenting about his touching it SO much.

Tara Smith said...

I have an 8 year old boy and a 11month old daughter. My son started the PGR as soon as he learned to grab things I could never seem to keep his hand off of that thing! When he was two it was a hot summer day and we had been taking a ride in the car. My husband looked back at my son because he was being very quiet, naturally he thought he was sleeping and wanted to see that heavenly sight of a baby sleeping. Unfortunately that was not the situation. He looked back to see my two year old picking poop out of his diaper and rubbing it all over himself! Naturally I started laughing and my husband started gagging. We pull over to a safe spot and I clean him up and tell him not to touch it, it was yucky. I asked him why he did that, he replied, "Cuz I pooped mommy!" I will never forget that day!
My daughter has been reaching down there and yanking and pulling on herself, I dont understand how you would keep inflicting pain on yourself over and over again. Anyways, I had asked my husband to give her a bath one night. He doesnt really ever take care of her on a daily basis becuase he is a truck driver. I forgot to tell him that she found "herself". I hear him yelling for me and saying stop that. I run in and she was playing with "herself". He had to leave the room because he said it is just not natural for a father to see that! I couldnt stop laughing as I finished her bath. It is so funny how the little things you forget to mention would scar a father like that!

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure Paul Revere grabbed one or grabbed two depending on land or sea.

Jibberblog said...

We have two girls so PGR isn't really a problem, although I have had the littlest one come up to me with two hands coated in something..what is that..omg its poop! I would welcome the diapers I guess, but I hope to be rid of them soon. knock on wood, or some other luck inducing ritual that gets me out of diapers forever.

Taterbugtwins said...

I feel you on the poop in the hair. My bad diaper experience was when my daughter was in the NICU. I, being the new first time mom, was SO eager to change her diaper. Anything to have contact with that sweet little baby. So, trying to act like a pro, I get everything out, ready and open. My little one is laying on the NICU bed, and I pull her diaper off of her. I am taking care to wipe her off so gently and thorough. Being a first time mom, I had no idea this would stimulate her. Further more, I had no idea that the poo after meconium could be so forceful. My sweet, little 6 pound bundle of joy sent poop flying across the bed, down the wall, and all over all of her tubing and medical equipment. I was mortified. Not only did the nurses have to change her sheets, they had to change IV tubing, cpap tubing and scrub the walls. They would have no part of me doing any of it. I learned real fast, to keep the bottom end covered even as you are cleaning it. HAHAHA

MrsDoF said...

Getting a new baby brother when I was a teenager, 3 sons of my own, 4 years doing home daycare, 6 years in a child care center, church Nursery 2 times a month.
There's no number for how many diapers I have changed in my life.

One situation I will never forget was at the daycare. A mom brought in her little girl, about 11 months old, saying the child was constipated, had not filled a diaper all weekend. Therefore, mom gave her some kind of oil/ laxative.
About 2 hours later, we all hear explosion.
It was my turn for diaper duty, so I get the girl up on the changing table, lay out all my supplies including an old grocery bag for trash.
I opened up the most foul-smelling mess I have ever known. I managed to get most of it cleared away, when I felt the gagging. I put my hand on her tummy to hold her in place, then turned sideways to heave my breakfast into the toilet.
A teacher from the next room heard me, opened the door to see if I needed help. She got a whiff, then ran for the toilet across her classroom, barely made it to heave her breakfast.
My co-teacher came to help, just as the girl let loose some more, worse smell than the original.
She heaved her breakfast into the toilet I had just flushed.
Meanwhile, another teacher had buzzed the office to come help with the other children in the class.
When the boss came into the room, she asked what all the terrible smell was. It was bad, really bad, what with diaper, and 3 people throwing up.

We had to borrow a portable tub from a different room, then give the girl a bath. Called the mom, who told us to throw away the soiled clothes (they were from a yard sale) and who refused to come fetch her kid "because the worst was over"
Yep, that was a bad diaper. 6 adults involved.

If I win any diapers, I'll give 'em to our Youth Pastor, who recently adopted a precious baby boy.

Susie said...

Poopy-head. One of my favorite diaper changing memories was when we were on vacation when Lily was about six months old. She had a blowout while we were driving through the North Carolina mountains. We were miles from our hotel, or anything else, and desperate for a clean up. We saw a roadside produce stand and pulled over. As luck would have it, they had a water hose in the front of their little shack. I asked if we could use it, without specifying why. We stripped Lily, who was covered in poop up to her neck, and John held her up in the air, naked, while I hosed her off. What started as a disaster became quite entertaining, for us, for Lily, and the people driving by, honking, waving, laughing. We heard several variations of "been there, done that!"

Nate's Mom said...

I'm new to this blog and this is a brilliant entry. I'm a mom of a 13 mo. old boy who has a strong PGR. After having a few incidents like you described, I asked for advice on how to prevent this. Like you, everyone said, "Toys. Special toys. Toys they only get when changing their diaper." Yeah. That didn't work. My Aunt, who has raised four kids (2 boys, 2 girls), had the most brilliant suggestion. Bribe them with food. Fill their hands with a treat before getting the diaper off and they're so busy eating they don't know what happened. I haven't tried this yet, mostly out of fear that said food will become incorporated into the PGR. We shall see....

Melissa said...

i have no stories...but i love yours...and as soon as you said you handed him the glasses...i had a hunch what was coming...CLASSIC

Beatrice said...

My son was under a month old when my story takes place. I thought it was just a routine two in the morning diaper change as I could smell that distinct scent of breastfed baby poop. As I took the old diaper off him, I could see in the dim light that something came flying out of his bottom. Yes, he was pooping as his diaper was being changed. He got poop on his sleeper, the new diaper, the change mat, the wall, the floor, and one of his toys across the room. I was already bleary eyed at being awake at such an hour, so I wasn't particularly thrilled at having to change my baby's clothing and do some emergency cleaning of his room. I was thankful, though, that I was to one side of him and none of the poop landed on me!

April said...

Oooooh! I have a good one!

Early one morning I was changing my first born, I think he was less than a month old. I was breast feeding, so he still had that mustard-y, yellow curdled poop.

I'm telling you, it was EARLY, Four or five AM, and I was an exhausted, sleep deprived first time mom. As I changed him with one eye open, I lifted his little legs up to wipe his bottom really well, sticking my face just inches from his butt I could see better in the dimly lit room we were in. And you know how sometimes you can help them relieve a little gas by lifting their legs up towards their bellies? Because at the time, I didn't know that little trick. This is where I found out the hard way.

The kid projectile sharted all over my face. It was in my hair and in my mouth. Little drops of baby poop freckling my forehead. Awesome.

But I learned some lessons from this experience. Most importantly, always keep your mouth closed when changing a diaper. You just never know how far shit will fly.

kcinnova said...

I cannot express how happy I am that my baby is almost 11 years old and diaper-free for the past 8 years. Four boys, all with various grades of PGR, plus many MANY other children have been in my care. Most of the awful memories have been erased from the memory bank. I know there have been several times that the only answer was a shower... for the baby AND the diaper-changer.

Kendra! :) said...

I have a 5 month old boy, Layne, so thanks for the PGR notification. He's already starting to do that. Now for my bad diaper change story... Layne was about 2 months old. My mom and sister were at my house with me. Layne smells so Mom goes to change his diaper. She wiping his bottom and I am in the back of the house. I hear her scream, "he's not done!!" I come up to the front and take over changing while she goes to wash her hands. Meanwhile Layne starts to spit up while lying on the changing table. So I tell my sister to take his head and I'll take his bottom. About that time he starts spraying pee everywhere while I'm trying to clean him up. So I grab the diaper I had out to cover him while he's peeing. I let him finish and then remove the diaper to finish changing him, and guess what?! I had grabbed the poopy diaper to cover him up so there was poop EVERYWHERE! Needless to say, a normally 2 minute diaper change turned into 10!
You can contact me at kendralmcintyre@gmail.com

Kiri said...

Our son isn't too bad with the PGR, but his new favorite game is Human Poop Crayon. He's 10 months old, so he's cruising and trying to get up and walk away most of the time. If he doesn't stand up during a diaper change, he'll sit down on the floor and scoot until you catch him. I made the mistake of trying to change a poopy diaper in his crib and he "drew" all over a clean crib sheet with his butt. Squiggly lines, dots... it's like he was trying to make a smiley face because he was so pleased with himself. :P

amonkeyslife said...

Ah, The Rose Family beat me to the punch. It doesn't matter what I do, my little girl immediately starts the "search and rescue" procedure as soon as I have the diaper off. Somehow, by the grace of God, we've managed to keep it off of the dogs, but just barely. I have, however, ended up with poop just about every where else. Thank goodness for bleach and hot water...

txn_grl said...

here's one for ya! lol didn't think I'd have a good story for ya since he's been good about changing his diapers, but this just happened about 10 mins ago....

my son is 20 months old & a PRO PRG.

I just noticed my son's bottom was sagging, so I grabbed the wipes & diaper and he ran and laid on the ground in front of me with his legs wide open ready for me to take his diaper off. Only for me to see that he had pooped & it leaked out one of his legs and some how got all over his foot too. Stupidly, instead of wiping it off his leg & foot first, I take the diaper off and then immediatly goes the hand down to grab his penis... and a handfull of poop. So now, I'm trying to pin his one leg/foot down from getting it all over me & the floor and his hand from getting it all over him & he starts peeing!!! agh
So yeah... there's always a first time fore everything, right? but why in one diaper change?! LOL

Anonymous said...

Now, I noticed that EYAH comes with a PGR.

SciFi Dad said...

I was alone with my daughter when she made a sound that sounded like a wet fart. I smelled the diaper and carried her up for a change. I picked her up and plunked her down on the change table. The liquid poo came shooting out the back, hitting her hair and the wall. I was cleaning poo off the walls and furniture for days after.

Anonymous said...

the worst diaper i ever had was my oldests first blow out he was six months old and it was as the plane was in the middle of takeoff in a flight from germany to virginia it was all up his back all over his clothes and i was not allowed to get up and change it for an hour i had also forgot to pack an extra outfit for him in the carry-on it was horrible

gina

ErinL said...

Owen was a pretty consistent pooper -- pretty much every diaper change, especially at the beginning. Xavier, on the other hand, leaves us in suspense for DAYS at a time ... only to surprise us at the worst possible times. I had just finished bathing him one night, (not usually my job, either, by the way) and was drying him off. I heard the unmistakable sound of a wet, juicy fart. I moved the towel and there was some poop on the towel that was under him. I was grossed out, but cleaned it up and went about the bedtime routine. The next evening, I was out with some friends for the first time in a long time, when I happened to glance down at my jeans. Yup. I was that mom who leaves the house with baby poop on her pants. He must've shot that stuff pretty far ...
We've also had fairly regular "poop-throughs", as we call them. We just learned not to dress him in white when it's coming upon day two or three or four since the last poop. I have had to CUT onesies off of him on TWO separate occasions, cause I just couldn't bear the thought of dragging that much poop up over his head. (a friend asked me, "How much poop WOULD you drag over his head? Is there, like, some magic formula or number or something?")

Pam said...

I have 2 boys of my own and the PGR is one I can relate too readily. My youngest, almost 2, has another little trick he likes to use on the extreme poop occasion. It's like he waits for the perfect moment to use it too. I also am hip to the decoy use, however, I have nothing in my arsenal for this move. As soon as the diaper is off he catapults his bottom high into the air by extenteding his feet and legs, clenching his butt cheeks and arching his back and trying to roll! Yes, can you see it! It's a hellacious manuever and no novice can protect themseves from the poop that will end up on the changing table, clothing, hands and decoys. When he pulls this off successfully, the only thing we can do is a tub rinse and towel dry. Yeah, it can be that bad.....
Contact: beantree@pacbell.net

Anonymous said...

you can have the scissors, I don't want them anymore.

James (SeattleDad) said...

The only one I have is how my son decided to pull his diaper off in the middle of the night one night then proceded to unload on the bed.

Yikes.

tiffanytupperware said...

I have a two-way tie for grossest poop stories... I will start with the one that is most recent, and maybe slightly a little bit worse. You know, no, this one is worse because it involved a lot of surface area... Just one story: "enjoy."

This happened approx. March of 2010. I was 9 mos pregnant with #3, and we had taken my 3 1/2 year old and 2 year old with us to one of the final OB appointments. I picked up my husband from work, had my appointment while he watched the kids, then dropped him back off at work. During this time he had taken both kids to the bathroom, but we hadn't taken spare diapers for the two year old. He put her tights back on and forgot to tell me that she had no diaper.

Well, we got home, and I thought something smelled 'off' but didn't worry too much about it. I let the kids play a little bit then went to put them down for a nap. I then noticed that my daughter had brown (formerly white) tights on, in a dripping pattern, into her shoes. I shuddered and gagged.

Being 9 months pregnant, I also had a horrible gag reflex.

I carried her under her arms into the bathroom and had her stand in the tub. As I removed the tights, I realized I had the pleasure of it being diarrhea to boot. She was covered from crotch to toe in poop. I fought back the urge to vomit all over the place, and got rid of the clothes as quickly as possible.

When I returned, I found that my daughter mistakenly assumed she was covered in finger paint as she PGR-ed and smeared upward then created brown circles all over her tummy and grinned stating 'icky.'

After bathing her I had to backtrack to everywhere she had been, which included wallowing on my bed, pillow, sofa, recliner, dining room chair, carseat, clothes, rug, and sooo many toys. Lots of things made the trash, Clorox was dispensed in large quantities, and laundry was backed up til after midnight.

And yes, we even bleached the tub to high heaven!

I do not believe my husband will ever forget to put a diaper on ANY child ever again.

I can be reached at tiffanytupperware@yahoo.com and we are recent converts from Pampers to Huggies. With an 18 lb 3 month old, we're flying right through them!

britt said...

thanks I'm working with my first son now and at 10 months the pgr kicked in. like your son mine seems to go to town. Sometimes it looks like he's gonna hurt himself. When dealing with a crapsplosion i give up and throw him in the shower while assessing the area for damage

Coffee Bean said...

LOL! I was the oldest grandchild of 18 cousins on one side of my family and 13 cousins on the other. I was often left in charge of the masses at family gatherings. When my youngest brother and another boy cousin were both 5 years old they were watching me change the diaper of a little girl cousin and had the following conversation between themselves:

cousin: Is she a boy or a girl?

brother: She's a girl! Can't you tell by her pony tails?

I still laugh every time I think of it.

Melissa said...

The only good poop story I can remember is that my husband was changing our newborn for the first time and he had the diaper off already and didn't have the new one under the baby's butt and he decided to urinate and pass one of those Meconium tar baby poops all over the changing table, and all over himself at 2:00AM. Poor hubby had no idea what to do!