Monday, July 07, 2008

Awkward recipe

Lauren makes an awesome anti-pasta salad. I was sent out to pick up some of the ingredients so she could make it for our 4th of July celebration.

When I got home from the store she pointed out that I picked up the wrong type of the main ingredient.

I went back to the store to return the item. This is the conversation I had with the guy behind the deli counter.

"I need to return this. My wife said I picked up the wrong thing for her recipe."

"Okay. What does your wife need?"

"She needs a harder salami. Apparently the one I got is too soft."

He turned red. So did I.

"What's the difference between a hard salami and soft salami?" I asked.

"Are you setting me up for a joke?"

"No. I looked out here." I said pointing to the prepackaged meats in the aisle."But they are all the same brand."

I then paused and composed myself and accepted what I had to ask. "Do you have hard salami back there?"

He paused and composed himself and then answered. "Yes. How much hard salami does your wife need?"

"I don't know. Can I see it?"

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

hee hee hee! hard salami. hee hee!

--Aurelia

Bogart in P Towne said...

Tears in my eyes...

Kelly said...

bwahahaha!

Charlotte in Pa said...

Awesome. You should have asked how thick it was.

Teri said...

hahahahahahaha

ah, you can always find some good laughs around.

Katrina said...

Lordy, lordy...

Effie said...

I'm impressed that you got through that conversation!

Jordan Richardson said...

So this was just the end to a hectic day I needed! WOW I'm busting out laughing at work my co-workers think I’m nuts.

kittenpie said...

How much? Don't you mean how often?

That is beyond and awkward and into absurd!

Becky said...

I never thought about using hard salami in that way...

I've been using ham.

That explains a lot.

The Maid

Anonymous said...

you may not have been setting up the grocery guy...but why do i smile at the the thought that your lovely wife set you up?!?

way to go Lauren ;)

Melissa

Anonymous said...

can we have the recipe?

seven said...

So funny.

kimmyk said...

LMAO!
you're smooth!

Mrs. K said...

oh my gosh I have tears in my eyes

Charity Donovan said...

That is so dang funny...I had a very similar "Salami Experience"...read about it here...
http://donovanquads.blogspot.com/search?q=salami

Mainline Mom said...

Eckrich is my choice of hard salami. heehee :)

kalki said...

Oh lord. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't believe it. But with you, I have no doubt it's true.

I hope Lauren found the hard salami to be satisfactory.

becky said...

Baa hahahaha

Rachael said...

Hilariously awesome.

JP said...

I'm surprised he didn't say, "I got your salami....I got ya salami right here!!!"

Melinda said...

So are you going to print the recipe? I have been waiting for you to turn food blogger!
(At least is wasn't a wienie salad. And you weinies were too tiny.)

Patience said...

Oh my! You had to admit that your salami wasn't hard enough!

There could have been an equally hysterical story had Lauren been the one to go get the salami!

"Oh, please, kind sir. May I have some of your hard salami."

katia said...

tee hee. I'll be chuckling all day.

And yes, now we need the recipe...

eclectic said...

Oh dear lord... the guy at the deli counter does NOT get paid enough.

Ern said...

OMG! I wonder if we can find the poor deli guy's blog entry on this? It would be fun to compare your two takes on this embarrassment. :)

ambergail77 said...

I admire a man who will go to the end's of the earth to ensure his wife gets the hardest salami. Lauren is so lucky.

April said...

Wow. I am so rarely without words. But . . . wow.

Julie said...

OMG, I almost peed myself laughing.

iVegasFamily said...

Perhaps the meat counter is conveniently located next to the pharmacy counter. They have little blue pills for that.

Rebekah Costello said...

*laughing so hard the tears won't stop*

Sue said...

I would have paid good money to see that conversation take place. Too funny!

gigglepotamus said...

I know I'm not the only woman out there that has to send her man out for a hard salami...

That's what she said.

Surfer Jay said...

Jeebus!!!

Practically Joe said...

When you can't find the salami ... there's always the chance that someone is playing ... "Hide the Salami".

bew said...

my kids are wondering what i'm laughing about....

laughing more

omg

justjuli said...

Laughing out loud, here. Too funny!!

But you're leaving me hanging, here - did he show it to you?

This is better than my recent request to the movie theater vendor for a large Reeses Penis.
um, yeah.