Thursday, August 30, 2007

When No News is not necessarily good news


16 comments:

lala said...

Hey, what about Blue Ball(s)! Hee!

Nilbo said...

The Intercourse News is leading with a story about the Amish? What's next? Mormon porn?

And I love how the banner is about families doing things together. That should be the motto: "Intercourse: Fun For The Whole Family"

Sharkey said...

You need one of those hats that says "Intercourse: halfway between Blue Ball and Paradise."

Susie said...

This brings back memories of middle school field trips, frow DE to PA. We all brought back signs for our rooms "Intercourse," "Blue Ball," "Smoketown..." And parents couldn't see anything, because, "It's just a town!!!"

And I would bet money that that on some brochure somewhere, some innocent soul has written, "Intercourse: Fun for the Whole Family."

Susie said...

That is, parents couldn't SAY anything. (Maybe they also couldn't SEE anything, if they'd spent too much time in Smoketown.)

Oh, and only one "that." I'm gonna stop proofreading my comments now.

latt├ęgirl said...

What were they THINKING?!

mcewen said...

Golly!

platypus said...

I'm with Lattegirl, who took the words right out of my mouth. Could they really be that naive or is someone somewhere having a really good laugh?!

Oh, The Joys said...

Where is this published? Climax, Michigan?

Kami said...

Innnnteresting....

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Well, I was going to do my very best to not comment on this one...I really don't have anything of value to say. After having the shakes for a few hours due to my inability to not say the dirty things that enter my mind, I have decided to break down and just share my first thought...
At least their motto isn't, Intercouse: Where Families Come Together.

Chris H said...

Ummm, interesting if nothing else!

Circus Kelli said...

Families doing things together?! Ewwwww

Oooo... Mormon porn... now that's HAWT.

Chris said...

That is classic. Totally classic.

No_Newz said...

No newz is alway good gnews, silly head! Especially when intercourse is included. Shesh, I have to tell you everything!

By the way, sorry your doc is a turd. And I'm sorry your blog time is being consumed by a healthier lifestyle.

Let me give you a little story/advice, ok? Hahah, like you can say no and stop me now, hahahaha sucker!

OK, here's the dealio, Mom was 50 lbs. overweight. She had high everything. She was insulin dependent. She never ate healthy stuff, lived on Twinkie Salad. (ok, that's a lie, but she LOVED her junk food and fast food)

Her doc put her on a ton of meds. After a couple of years on the meds, with no change in diet or exercise, she gained another 50 lbs.

Now everything was at fatal levels. Doc says, "Lady, you are gonna die!"

Deciding her doc was a turd, I asked her why not make a change? Start with something simple, like drinking water. Coffee and soda were her two drinks of choice.

I reminded her our bodies are supposed to be made up of 70% water. With enough bitching on my end, she said she'd give it a try.

She drank a 12 oz. bottle of water before every meal. Soon realizing how it made her half full. Then she noticed her skin changes, softer, less wrinkled, no zits or blemishes.

And then she hopped on the scale. Keep in mind, she still enjoyed her Twinkie Salad. She lost a few pounds and felt better. She gradually stopped some of the medication.

In one year, she dropped 100 pounds, took herself off of ALL the meds.

When she went to see her doc, she wasn't recognized. Doctor assumed she must be withering away because of cancer or something terrible. And when she finally asked my mom how she was doing, she said great now that she isn't on all of those medications.

She told her about her water consumption. (64 oz. everyday, like you're supposed to have)

The doctor ran a battery of tests, only to find out that my mother wasn't a diabetic anymore, her triglycerides were normal and best of all she wasn't dying.

Now that she is "healthy" she walks everyday and eats a little better. But the main change was adding water to her diet.

So frickin' get better and go drink some damn water. But don't over do it like the girl in that radio contest. :P

Ok, I think I'm done.

*crickets*

hmm...

ok bye!

Dad Stuff said...

The Intercourse News really is the Visitor's Friend.