Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Lawn Whisperer presents Kyle Solo

If you are new to Poop and Boogies, William, the usual blogger is away for a few days.
Guest Blogging today for William is.....
The Lawn Whisperer.



I have three kids. My daughter is 21 and in college. My sons are 5 and 4. I am currently parenting at two separate ends of the spectrum. I am not sure which end of the spectrum is more difficult, but I can say that the 5 and 4 year old require a more acute sense of catastrophe stopping skills. That is my position in the family. I stop potential catastrophes. I will let you in on my most recent one.

Occasionally, I get the two boys to myself for a day or two. I do not like when my wife gets free time, but apparently I get more than my share, and have to give her some space.
So my days alone with the boys usually start with a trip to the toy store. I find that buying them a new toy in the morning hours saves me at least a half a day of aggravation. This particular day is going to be a Star Wars day. They have just gotten into the first 3 movies, well the second three, but the first three filmed. You know what I’m talking about, the 25 year old movies.

My younger sons name is Luke. My older son is Kyle. So, we get to the store and start looking at guys. You got the Storm Troopers. You got Darth Vader. You got Chewbacca. If they were in the movie, they have a guy for it. Naturally, Luke wants a Luke Skywalker guy. He likes that it is his name and he says it a hundred times. “Dad, he has the same name as me, I want him.” I say that is fine and grab a Luke Skywalker.
With this I notice, with my keen sense of Catastrophe stopping skills, that Kyle is teary eyed and ready to have a meltdown. “He has a guy with his name, I don’t have a guy with my name. I don’t want a guy. Star Wars is stupid.” This conversation is getting louder, and more animated with every sobbing word. I need to do something. So I do what every great parent does, I lie. I tell him that Han Solo’s real name is Kyle. I tell him that his nickname is Han. Kyle falls for it. Luke buys Luke Skywalker, and Kyle buys Kyle Solo. I get a half a day of happiness. Catastrophe averted. I sold that lie so well, that when we watch the movie, my entire family refers to Han Solo as Kyle. It was a thing of beauty.

14 comments:

Ozymandius said...

that's got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read!. Forget the Easter Bunny, move over Santy Claus....Kyle Solo is here to save the day!

mrs nelson said...

qiTell Kyle Solo that mrs nelson leah understand completely.

WILLIAM said...

I got a call from the Lawn Whisperer....."Bill....No one has commented in like....over a minute."

maggie said...

nice

Candace said...

Hey, Mr. Whisperer, we have LIVES. We can't just drop everything and comment on your little stories.

Sheesh.

Oh, wait. I just dropped everything to comment, didn't I?

Crap.

Momentarily_Distracted said...

Great moments in parenting.
Bravo!

Stacie said...

Oh that is too funny. I am dying here. I will think of that every time I watch star wars now. Stacie

mrtl said...

This only goes to show how thorough parents need to be when naming children.

I think I'll crawl under a table now.

Circus Kelli said...

That's not exactly a lie. It *could* be the truth. You never know -- maybe his name was Kyle originally, and the editors or someone didn't think that was heroic enough and changed it.

Excellent catastrophy prevention skills! I think you should get the boys to yourself more often!

heh, my word verification is "ooklkei" -- all I can think of is "Ooklkei, I am your father..."

Circus Kelli said...

mrtl, that reminds me -- Frid's name -- how 'bout Katrina?

Effie said...

As you said--it won't be the last time that a parent tells a child something to make them happy...although, when he tells kids at school that Han Solo's real name is Kyle and they inform him that "No way--my daddy said his name is Han not Kyle" what is he going to feel like? Hmmm? (Not trying to be too mean, it's just that I believed far tooo many things when I was little and always got told the truth by mean kids at school....like about Santa and the Tooth Fairy, etc...

Jim said...

What aboutSanta and the tooth fairy?

Random and Odd said...

William couldn't have picked a better guest blogger.

Welcome to the fray, Lawn Whisper!!

No_Newz said...

Lying and bribery, you're my kind of parent Lawn Dude! Nice work!
So tell me the truth, how many times did you chant, "Luke, I am your fath-a"??? while at the store? I bet that was what really was bothering poor Kyle. If he asks you to go on Maury with him, don't be surprised. ;)
Lois Lane