Friday, March 04, 2011


Wyatt, like most middle child four year olds, starts most of his sentences with one of the same three phrases. The phrases are not really phrases at all but more like a an amalgam of words that have become a word in itself.

The words are Thatsbecausehe, Whatifits, and Thatsnofair. They come up in any and almost all conversations.

Let us start with Whatifits, which is used in conversations based around Wyatt trying to use Jedi Mind Tricks to get his way.

Eating dinner--Whatifits really gross? Can I still have dessert?

Going to the bathroom--Whatifits got germs in there? Do I have to go?

Going to bed-Whatifits really itchy in my bed? Can I sleep in your bed?

Discussing safety issues--Whatifits zombies attacking? Can I call 911? Whatifits a stranger wants to talk to me? Can I call 911? Whatifits a kid that is the stranger. Can I talk to them? Then can I call 911? (Wyatt is now fascinated with 911 partly due to lessons at preschool as well as the fact that Jackson accidentally dialed once and Wyatt was impressed that the police actually showed up.)

Playing games-Whatifits the Darth Maul level? Can we play longer?

Whatifits is used as much as Thatsbecausehe. However the word Thatsbecausehe is usually following a sentence or a cry from another person.

"Dad, Wyatt hit me."

"Thatsbecausehe wouldn't give me a turn with the Ninjago spinner."

"Dad, Wyatt pushed Jackson."

"Thatsbecausehe ate my cookie."

"Dad, Wyatt won't let me sit on the couch."

"Thatsbecausehe won't let me watch what I want to watch and thatsbecausehe wouldn't let me on the couch yesterday and thatsbecause he wouldn't give me a turn with the Ninjago spinner!"

Lauren and I are still trying to figure out where our kids have learned their sense of fairness, especially Wyatt. Thatsnofair is one of his favorite words.

Thatsnofair he gets to stay up later than I do.

Thatsnofair he gets to go to bed before I do.

Thatsnofair he likes his dinner so he gets dessert and I don't

Thatsnofair he always gets to watch his shows and I don't.

Thatsnofair you always go to work.

Thatsnofair he has his a Ninjago spinner and I don't.

Wyatt has recently added a new word to his vocabulary, the word canihave.

Canihave a banana? Canihave breakfast? Canihave a drink? Canihave a snack?

Pointing at the commercials on the TV -CanIhave that? Canihave that? Canihave that? Canihave that? Canihave my own Ninjago spinner?

We are working with him to be able to pronounce the word Canipleasehave.


eclectic said...

Hilarious! Our middle child also is the most acutely attuned to the concept of fairness, or UNfairness, if you ask him. Sorry to report to you that as of now -- and he's 14 -- it hasn't diminished.

mrtl said...

The canihave's drive me peanuts in a pickup truck. A close second is "Mommy? ... Mommy? ... Momma? ... I forgot." (to note I respond patiently after each of the first two "Mommy's")

Karen Deborah said...

May I Dad. And you sound like bill cosby. So funny.
you forgot--he's touchin me.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I like how you and your wife set workable goals in parenting. LOL.

My oldest is almost 13 and the THAT'S NOT FAIR has been a "battle cry" for many many years. My husb told him from the start: Life is not fair. Deal with it. So now he and his brother say that to each other. Works for me.

I found it fascinating that Wyatt being the middle child is the one that use these phrases most often.

Surfer Jay said...

Thatsbecausehe is totally cool. Funny stuff dude. See, right now I am in awe that my near 3 year ld is begginning to speak like a regular shakespearian intellectual, so seeing how that can turn around and annoy the hell out of me, like your example, I suppose I should cherishj these moments while they last right.