Red Handed

I should have seen it coming. It's one of those things that I knew was happening but for some reason I turned a blind eye to it. The signs were the typical, obvious signs that one would see on television shows like Dr. Phil or Oprah.

1. Longer than usual time spent on the computer
2. Strange phone numbers appearing on the bill
3. Easily distracted
4. Frequent trips to the store "Because I need something"
5. Unexplained receipts and charges in the bank account
6. Late nights away from the family
7. Feelings of guilt
8. An unexplained "glow" or happiness

The list goes on and on. I feel somewhat foolish for not seeing them early enough. I don't think the kids are affected and if they are they have adapted well. I am still trying to wrap my brain around it. I know it is not my fault but I am sure I hold some of the blame. I keep asking myself "Could I have done more to prevent this? What needs of hers am I not fulfilling."

Lauren is having an affair.

I am not sure when it started exactly but I do know that it has become more intense over this past summer. With vacations and day trips and other obligations I thought the whole thing would go away. I was wrong. That somehow she would lose interest. She didn't.

Like I said, I kind of knew it was happening all along but the whole affair was confirmed one evening when I cam home from work a bit early. The kids were watching TV in the Family Room with no sign of their mother around. I walked into the kitchen and just as I called out to Lauren I saw her wedding rings sitting on the window sill. I heard her rustling around in the dining room covering stuff up.

I popped my head in and I caught her red handed.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She held up her hands which were stained with various hues of pink, green, white and mostly red.

"I'm doing Art." She said and she smiled at me.

Art. Lauren met Art a long time ago, most likely when she was a kid. She always liked Art all the way through high school. When Lauren went into to college she did so for Art. Four years of her and Art. Lauren even went to Italy so she could better understand Art. After college, though, Art changed. Art went more in the direction of computers and Lauren was more of a traditional girl. They kind of parted ways. That was the time I met Lauren. She told me all about Art but I was pretty confident that her past relationship would not affect us.

Lauren and I fell in love, got married and now have a family. Some time last year Art started poking around again. I did not think much of it. Lauren got reacquainted with Art through websites like Etsy and Flickr (those sites promote infidelity I tell you.) 1.She was spending more time on the computer. 2.Lauren started calling around to various shows and places where she could see Art. 3. She got distracted by Art. 4. She would go out to various stores because she needed stuff for Art. 5. I would see receipts for Michael's and AC Moore. 6. Since late June Lauren has been spending at least three nights a week doing Art. 7. She feels guilty about her time away from the kids and how much more I have been doing. 8. She seems happier doing Art.
Art is lucky.

This coming weekend, Lauren will be having a fling with Art. She will showing and selling Art at the Doylestown Art Festival. If you are in the area stop by and tell Lauren what a hussy she is.

To save my brother Anonymous the effort of havng to comment- Yes Lauren likes her Art, well, hung.


Question--When a man has an affair with a woman, the other woman is called a mistress. When a woman has an affair what is the other man called? Mister-ess?

Check out what Lauren is doing at Gigglepotamus.