Sunday, September 13, 2009

Hell's Angel

I slowed down as I approached the light, moving over towards the right hand lane.

"Oh, there is Uncle Pat." Lauren said and she pointed to a group of riders on their motorcycles in the left turn lane.

Lauren's Uncle Pat, one of the nicest and funniest guys, is a motorcycle enthusiast and he was out riding his motorcycle with other bikers on a beautiful day. He rode his cycle between two other guys who looked and dressed the part of a "biker". The guy closest to our van was big. Real big. His arms were huge and he had the toughest handlebar moustache I have ever seen. He looked like a bigger version of the dad from Orange County Choppers. He was scary.

I pulled the mini-van along side and a bit ahead of the idling bikers who were waiting to make a left in the left turn lane. I stopped just ahead of the bikes so they were at my driver's side rear fender. I rolled down my window hoping to get Uncle Pat's attention. I kind of stuck my head out and hoped Pat would see me. He did not. I was going to wave but then I thought I would be a smart ass and yell something. I did not want to hold up traffic so I kept checking my mirrors and the traffic signal.

The guy, the scary guy, who was closest to my van, saw me craning my neck, trying to get their attention and he pulled up real close to my window. I, of course, did not see him edge up to my window because I just looked up to make sure the light did not change. I turned my head out the window and yelled, "Are you trying to look like a tough guy!?" Right. Into the scary guy's. Face.

I think I may have peed a little bit. I could see the look of horror on my face in the reflective surface on his dark sunglasses. That is how close he was to my window.

"Uhhhmmmm. Not you." I said. "I meant him. Uhmmm, him. Uncle Pat. Uncle PAT? Oh Uncle Pat?" I waived frantically until Uncle Pat saw me and he yelled a greeting back.

The light changed to green and I quickly drove away a few shades paler than I was.

12 comments:

Whit said...

That's where you throw in something like, "that's what I thought, Tiny" and drive like the wind.

SciFi Dad said...

"You think that bike makes you look virile? THIS MINIVAN makes you look virile."

kcinnova said...

ROTFL!!

Anonymous said...

I love your Bumper sticker. "My other mini-van has training wheels"

Anonymous said...

The Whiter Shade of Pale

eclectic said...

Mr. Rogers had his cardigan, and you have your minivan. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, tough guy-yeee.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Ah, he was probably just a big Teddy Bear...

Anonymous said...

Hey Buddy, Would you like a juice box, or maybe a fruit roll up?

for a different kind of girl said...

This is, pure and simple, awesome. The only thing that might have made it even more so was if there was some sweet, sweet easy listening music cranked on the minivan radio!

Melinda said...

You were sooo close to a butt kicking. He must have been a big softie or you'd be road kill.

Anonymous said...

Was his name "Art" by any chance?

Bogart in P Towne said...

When you got home, did you notice that your underware were a few shades yellow-er?