Thursday, February 26, 2009

Transmission

A couple of months ago I turned on the receiver part of our baby monitor so I could listen in on the kids as they played in their room. After a few minutes of silence I suddenly heard a woman's voice come through the monitor asking "..help clean up these toys?'

I turned, looked at Lauren, who was standing in the same room with me and she had the same What the Hell expression on her face as I did on mine. Who was asking Maxfield and Wyatt to clean up the toys? I walked into their room and they were playing nicely. There was no woman in the room with them. I looked at the transmitter part on the baby monitor and it was turned off, which was weird because we leave the transmitter on all the time. One of the kids must have been playing with it and turned it off. I realized since our transmitter was off, our receiver was picking up the signal from another baby monitor somewhere. It was most likely the family a few houses away.

I explained my theory to Lauren and she agreed that was the most likely explanation. She then made a joke that the family a few houses away was probably picking up on some of our family noises. Like I said, we leave the transmitter on all the time. I am sure we have been broadcasting our lives to the neighborhood. I felt weird about that for a bit until I realized that all anyone probably ever heard was the kids screaming or me screaming at the kids. No big deal since I am sure our neighbors would hear us even without a monitor.

But the fact that there is the potential that someone, at any given time, could be listening in our house has given me a great idea. You see, now sometimes, when I walk by the baby monitor transmitter and no one is around, I just say random things like, "I hope I don't get abducted by aliens AGAIN tonight." Or "I really need to by a better set of binoculars to spy on my neighbors." And "How did John Wayne Gacy do it? I can only fit two or three in the crawlspace."

When I have a little bit more time I try subliminal messages. I will repeat over and over again,
"Send money to (and I say my address." Or "This is your guardian angel and you need points with God. Go and clean the gutters at (and I say my address)."




Do you have any suggestions of what I could say? Keep it clean Anonymous.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a "Three Way" radio so is this house. Come on over.

Anonymous said...

Ground Control to Major Tom.

Anonymous said...

Breaker 1-9 Breaker 1-9

Anonymous said...

Two Cheese burgers and Two Large Fries

Anonymous said...

Cleanup on Aisle 4

Michael said...

There is another explanation that the Lawn Whisperer would love. That voice you heard was the woman who lived in the house before you and is talking to your kids.

EVP Electronic Voice Phenomena

You are a Michael Keaton fan, White Noise!

You have ghosts, but at least they are helping you with getting the toys put away.

Janet said...

That's what she said last night...

Patience said...

Wasn't there a movie about that? Some people overheard through their baby monitor some neighbor planning a murder? Or something like that?

I can't remember.

Maybe I should get me one of those baby monitors! Listen in on the neighbors!

SciFi Dad said...

I would use it to spread rumours about other neighbours, disguising my voice so I sounded like them. (Think that Simpsons episode where Bart tries to prolong a teacher's strike.)

Also, this reminded me of my own monitor stories... http://talesfromthedadside.blogspot.com/2008/04/ths-alien-baby-and-other-stories-from.html

Leanne said...

Has your husband left yet?

Just clap once for yes and twice for no!

eclectic said...

"Honey, you're paranoid. No one can hear what we're saying. I promise."

teri said...

I thought the same thing as Michael said, ghosts.

I got goosebumps when I read that.

Michelle said...

I used to continually hear a rhythmic breathing on my son's baby monitor, whether he was in the room or not. Sometimes my son would also babble to someone conversationally when we were not in the room. Eventually,creeped out by this nightly event, we turned the monitor off and put the baby in our bed. Eight years later, he's still in our bed!I am convinced of 2 things: 1. Baby monitors channel the dead. 2. The dead dont want YOU to have a lovelife either.

gatorgreene said...

Just start screaming and *crying*, like you are reacting to something unthinkable, then stop, and (1) clear your throat, and remark to yourself "Hmmm, that was strange...Glad nobody was here to hear that" or (2)CALMLY say something like "man I hate it when the kids squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube"

sophstar's mama said...

I've had this experience too! We heard someone reading stories to their kids through ours. We lived in an apartment though, so it probably didn't have to go very far to get picked up.

Otter Thomas said...

Great sense of humor. You have to keep taking advantage of that opportunity. The more random the better I think.

Maude come on over and help me shave my back would be nice.

Tismee2 said...

Try a bit of Karaoke or Rock Band. That'll have them switching off pronto!

I found this really amusing, I'm still chuckling to myself.

Thanks!

JP said...

Bring me cookies. Lots and lots of cookies.

Melinda said...

I think you should do your play practice...uh, I mean 'play rehearsal' for your unknown audience.
Something like War of the Worlds could be fun.

Alis said...

I suggest anything from Jeff Foxworthy, such as:
Y'all better come take a look at this before I flush it! (could be anything: dead fish, rotten beans, squashed spider, etc.)
Or...
Someone call the cops! I have a crime to report: Larry puked in the aquarium! Smells very much bad in here.

Sharfa said...

Record the opening of Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd on a disc and have it on replay
"Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?"

kalki said...

Well since I am obsessed with being a spy, I would probably stage phone calls to the CIA or something, so that my neighbors would think I'm an undercover agent.

sari said...

Michele's story both creeped me out and made me laugh.

I lived in an old duplex once that had these weird windows and brick walls. The windows weren't *quite* soundproofed, and one day i was home sick and I overhead my neighbor LOUDLY singing "I will survive".

I kept figuring he was probably naked and singing into his hairbrush, I was so icked out I soon moved.

karen said...

I have a pair of wireless headphones that I use so I can watch tv in bed while my hubby's asleep. I've heard phone conversations on those (the old 900mHz cordless phones can be picked up on scanners too) though it's never been anything exciting.

As far as what else to say I got nothing to add. Maybe do a your own special rendition of some horribly popular song like you're auditioning for American Idol

Daddy Geek Boy said...

"Thank god for open windows."

No? How about?

"Chicken bones? Just toss 'em in the neighbors yard."

Nope. Not that one either?
Well, I'm out of ideas.

Practically Joe said...

I would try to talk back to who you were hearing talking to their kids. Pretend you think they are a spirit coming through over your monitor ... I wonder if they would play along.

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

lol!!! That's kinda cool but at the same time freaky. I'd be so embarrassed if I said something way weird.

I mean...I wouldn't...but what if I did? lol!!

iheartchocolate said...

I have heard it too! I heard a lady spanking her kid once. Then I worried, what do they hear from our house?? Your comments made me laugh so hard, my husband thinks I am crazy. Well, it just solidified his previous suspicion.

Anonymous said...

Bill, you are going to get into TROUBLE! Stop it! This is your mother talking! The kid in you is still there! You are a DAD! Behave like one!

Anonymous said...

Honey, have you seen my...?
Lipstick
Lace thong
High Heels
Aresnic
Shotgun
Teddy Bear, you know I can't sleep without it.

JJ Snow said...

Mmmmm... cheese.

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