Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dentist

I was at the dentist office yesterday getting some work done. You know how it is when you are at the dentist, they have drills, saliva suckers, cotton and other things in your mouth while the dentist asks you questions and has a conversations with the assistants and all the time you can't actually answer or participate in the conversation because your mouth is full.

This is all the stuff I wanted to say but never got the chance.

"If my mouth looks like Newark than I guess my ass would be Camden."

"Rihanna has herpes? Was it Eye Herpes?"

"You guys should sell advertising space on all the walls in here."

"That's what she said."

"Can we please stop talking about Rihanna."

"A-Rod sucks. Not because he took steroids but because he is a Yankee."

"Holy Ca-rap! That hurt."

"Moooooon River. Are you using the whole fist doc?"

"That's what she said." (again.)

17 comments:

Patience said...

Dentists. Ick! I don't mind the teeth cleaning people, but I don't like having to have actual dental work done when they cram both hands and instruments inside my tiny mouth.

Katie said...

I know what you mean - it is so weird lying there listening to the dentist and his assistant having a conversation like you aren't there. I've heard mine talking about local gossip; also about other patients. Not their medical stuff, just their attitudes.

eclectic said...

And you wonder why they kept your mouth full? ;)

Bogart in P Towne said...

My dentist has TV's in every room and wireless headsets...I don't ever have to talk to him.

But I often did because his daughter was hot!

Anonymous said...

The novacaine makes me think of fish like carp.

sari said...

Holy Carp is something my boys say a lot.

Charity Donovan said...

What??? You mean there was no "Hello??? Can't you tell by the rivers flowing from my eyes that you might be gagging me just a little???" Holy Gag Reflex Batman...I can't even take the dentist! Thanks for reminding me...I better make that dreaded appt! lol!

James said...

A-roid is what is wrong with baseball! And he is a Yankee which makes it even worse.

kalki said...

So weird - I was just having a conversation with someone about this - why do they ask you questions when their hand is in your mouth?! My friend said her childhood dentist had a poster of Patrick Swayze on the ceiling for patients to stare at. His wife put it there.

Anonymous said...

I CANNOT BELIEVE I MISSED THE KIDS. NOT RIGHT. I DEMAND A RE-VISIT.

kcinnova said...

I just had a 1991 flashback - being prepped for my C-section - the staff in the OR were discussing the demise of rock'n'roll. (Um, HELLO? I'm preparing for the birth of my firstborn and I'm HERE while you are swabbing my belly!)

Going to the dentist next Tuesday.
~KC

JP said...

When I see the dentist, I see him all of 30 seconds. I spend most of the visit with the dental hygienist who blasts me with that peroxide stuff, man that stings! I do like the flat screens in every room though. I always change the channel to the Golf Channel

AirmanMom said...

I've never had a problem with the dentist until last year...my third crown. I kept doing the 'time out's sign, while he drilled and drilled and drilled... my next visit...I took a good friend called Valium...the dentist and the assistant can chatter away!

~AM

Anonymous said...

I SEE SOME BROWN IN THEM THERE EYES. MAYBE THEY'LL BE HAZEL. DON'T THINK BLUE. MAYBE GREY! THE 'EYES' HAVE IT! wHAT A SWEETHEART! momo9

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