Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dreams

Lauren and I often argue over the TV. We rarely argue over what we watch together. No, we argue over what one watches while the other one is asleep. See this post from two years ago.

We both like to fall asleep watching TV. Lauren usually goes to bed and is asleep before me. She falls asleep to home improvement or medical shows and occasionally a bad reality show. The first thing I do, when I get into bed, is change the channel to either the Discovery, History or the Military channel. I watch shows like Mythbusters, History's Mysteries, Future Weapons and Monster Hunters. I like to fall asleep to things blowing up or to stories about UFOs or Bigfoot or Nostradamus and the end of the world.

Lauren hates this. The shows I watch as I fall asleep often run repeats in the middle of the night. The stories and music often infiltrate her dreams and give Lauren nightmares. She wakes up anxious and upset. She fumbles around looking for the remote and will mutter about the type of shows I watch. She always questions my choice of late night shows and asks how they don't bother me while I sleep. How I could not have dreams of hauntings or alien abductions or of Bigfoot chasing me was beyond her.

This past weekend we both went to bed at the same time and discussed what channel would be on the TV as we fell asleep. I wanted to watch a movie on TNT or TBS and she wanted to watch Bridget Jones Diary on the Oxygen channel. Now that she is nursing Jackson and does not sleep for long periods of time I agreed to watch the Oxygen channel. I fell asleep first.

I woke up at three in the morning feeling anxious. The show on the TV was infiltrating my dreams. I could hear the TV and I could not believe what I was listening to. What the hell was Lauren watching? I leaned over but she was fast asleep. I fumbled around for my glasses so I could see what the women on the television were discussing. Here is a link for the show that was on.

Apparently the Oxygen Channel turns into a sex toy QVC in the middle of the night selling various plugs and vibrators. I am not a prude but I found the whole thing disturbing. Bigfoot now has a new meaning in my dreams.

This morning, as I was writing, I told Lauren the topic of this post.

She laughed and asked, "Is that why there was Google search for Dildo on the computer?"

24 comments:

Charity Donovan said...

Awwww great! Now when Steve checks the "history" on our computer...he'll think he isn't doing for me anymore...LOL!!!

kalki said...

You need a TV with one of those timers that turns the TV off after 2 hrs. or however long you set it for. Sounds like a good excuse to buy a new TV! :)

Ern said...

I'm here to say what Kalki said. Except that I would bet money that your TV already has a sleep timer. We always have ours set for 30 minutes or an hour when we go to sleep. (Of course our night-time tv of choice is Friends DVDs. So we just dream about brightly colored lofts...)

gigglepotamus said...

yeah, sure... blame the google search on the Oxygen Channel...

SoMo said...

EXACTLY!!! My husband and I have the same problem. There is one difference, we have a sleep function on our cable box. I don't understand why he can't turn it on. I don't care if it is for an hour, 2, 3 or whatever, just so his shows won't become part of my dreams in the wee hours of the morning.

I woke up one morning scared to death we were being invaded, nope just the Gaza story on CNN. GAH!!!!

Patience said...

Hmmm! I think I'll start watching Oxygen Channel. Nah! I'm always asleep and asnoring by 10:00.

Bogart in P Towne said...

So, you had one of THOSE dreams eh? Just one question...did it involve one of the "various plugs"?

By the way, you need to put a NSFW tag on that link!!

kimmyk said...

OH MY WORD!

Looks like I found a new place to spend my income tax refund!

whaaa?? i'm kidding. no, I am. kind of.

I always turn on VH1 to fall asleep-celebrity rehab shows always make me feel better about myself...it's true.

eclectic said...

Yay! File this under Marital Issues I Do Not Have!! We have one television in the house, and it is downstairs in the family room. The end.

Jody said...

Excellent! You really need a TV with a sleep timer...

JP said...

Sharkey told me about the sex toy shopping channel. I thought she was messing with me so I didn't really believe her, but reading this post I have to say, hummmm....

Anonymous said...

Why don't you just eat some of your toenails from the night stand and go back to bed?

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Lol. You and my husband would get along fine, he's always watching that monster crap on the History Channel. Tell Lauren to be glad you don't watch monster movies on SciFi, as my husband does!

kcinnova said...

Don't you know you won't need those tools if you get rid of the TV in your room? Research shows that your s*x life will improve. Well, after the 6 weeks are up.

(I'm going away now...I shouldn't post when I'm sleepy -- and I can't sleep with any noise except a fan)

Practically Joe said...

My wife and I start out in front of the TV. She usually falls asleep first.
That's when I come downstairs and play with my BLOG. She snores too loud and I keep missing what's being said.
She wakes and goes to bed.
I go back up and watch TV til I fall asleep.
We do this dance every night.

Super Mega Dad said...

WAIT...the Oxygen Channel turns into a sex toy channel at night? Oh, man, I'm taking that channel off my wife's blocked channel list! She keeps asking me why we don't get that channel...maybe our cable company just "added" it for us! :)

gigglepotamus said...

Bill--

I had the weirdest dream last night...

Josh said...

And they say Lifetime is 'television for women'....

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

LOL!!!! Nice!

Hubby and I like to fall asleep to Star Trek. We are nerds like that.

Paige at www.mommycast.com said...

You guys seriously need a tv with a sleep timer.

sari said...

OH MY GOSH - isn't this channel awful??? We found this last year when I was nursing our baby and up all hours of the night. I swear my husband and I giggled like a couple of schoolgirls it was so...weird. They all are so matter of fact about stuf, we couldn't believe.

Can you imagine, having to tell people that was your job????. Ack!

iheartchocolate said...

I just hope your answer was, "yes, that's why.." and you meant it. ;)

Aunt Jo said...

I have done the same thing! Ewwwww!

Anonymous said...

And guess what? The things they sell on the website are marked 2 or 3 times more than what the asking price is elsewhere on the web, such as on the manufacturers' websites, such as "TongueJoy," for example... Guess we know where Oprah REALLY got all her money from, eh?