Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Turn On

She* purred as she wound down.

Satisfied, Lauren smiled.

With two kids it is not often that we get to have these moments. But both children were napping.

Lauren was afraid I would be too loud and wake the kids up. But I convinced her otherwise.

Normally when I have these moments, I do it too quick and I am satisfied. Lauren, however, is not.

But this time, I did it nice and slow. I started slowly. Nice long motions.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

I made sure I reached every spot. I took my time. Some times I got carried away and I moved too fast but then I would realize that I needed to finish the job and I would get back into a slow steady rhythm.

It became like a dance.

The more** I moved the better I did.

When I was finished, she* purred as she wound down.

Satisfied, Lauren smiled that the whole house was vacuumed.

*The Vacuum Cleaner
** Furniture

40 comments:

CourtneyRyan369 said...

My computer screen thanks you for the afternoon coffee shower!

Lisa said...

Geez. My husband should take notes from you.

Teri said...

tease!

Jozet at Halushki said...

omg...I'm feeling the strong urge to put the kids in front of the tv, go up to my room all by myself, put on some low music

and dust.

(ROLF! This was too good! If only my husband would vacuum this good!)

Woman Undone said...

I bet vacuuming never sounded so dirty before!!!

You dirty, dirty Daddy!!!

Sassy said...

Now, I think I am going to UM, vacuum with my husband. I think there are some crumbs in the, UM, sheets?
Thanks for the inspiration, funny boy.

Bogart in P Towne said...

I got all hot and bothered just thinking about the...clean carpets...ah crap.

Anonymous said...

Did you do it on the stairs?

Anonymous said...

I know Lauren does not smoke, but I pictured you wrapping the vaccum cord and her with a cigarette.

Sassy said...

You got an award for your "cleaning skills" and your plain old sassyness.
Come on over and get crowned.
Yahoozie Baby!

http://mysassypants.blogspot.com

Sandy said...

You are too much! And I wish my husband even knew where our vacuum cleaner is....sigh

Amy said...

Oh wow! Found you through Sassy's blog and yeah vacuuming is good, REALLY good. But nothing gets me in the mood like a man doing the dishes!

Aunt Jo said...

I am gettin' a vapor!!

Sexy!

Undercover Mutha said...

Heh heh, snort. Here I thought you got a new cat. Didn't quite fit the story about halfway through, though.

Wendy said...

Oh yeah! But you didn't clean your dirty mind!

Kami said...

Tease.

rudecactus said...

So. Many. Jokes...Must. Resist.

Oh, The Joys said...

I'm glad to hear you were getting busy during nap time!

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Oh my! At first I thought this was a whole new side to your blog. It was going to go on my naughty list...the list I read right before bed *wink*

Felicia said...

goof...lol

Morrisquads said...

Vacuuming will never be the same! Hilarious!!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I have obviously been living with my husband too long!! I totally saw this coming!! This is completely something he would say!!

Love it! (love it even more that you vacuum!)

Hallie

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

If you're not too cool. I've got a little ditty for ya. I'm not sure if it is your style but I wanted you to have it anyway.

Sarah said...

That was seriously funny! :::Still laughing::: =O)

Mary said...

This was funny!
Found your from Hallie's blog over at WWOW.

No_Newz said...

The only thing sexier than a man with a vacuum is one scrubbing a floor. :P

The Angry Engraver said...

LMAO

thats great!!!

bew said...

OOhhh boy....there's something about you.... that makes me want to ....mmmm...how do I put this.....clean!

(hanging my head in shame)

I can't believe I just said that....

Katy said...

I was so moved that I hadto go mop before I could even leave this comment.

Anonymous said...

I love a man that cleans.

I do the cleaning at my house.

Stacie said...

I think I need a cigarette...or a shower..
stacie

Stacie said...

nothing's hotter!

Tiff said...

WOW i think if my husband had read that he may just do the vacuuming more often!

cat said...

You're into VACCUUMS?!

You're such a perv.

eclectic said...

It's good that Lauren can communicate when she's not satisfied...! ;)

Janice said...

I dito the 'I think I need a cigarette' and I don't smoke. That was the hottest, Oh i mean funniest post. Don't mind me just jumping through Blogs, you are to funny. Enjoyed tremendously, thanks

Melinda said...

This is the kind of foreplay woman want, Bill.

Jody said...

Dude... Too hot for this mommy.

whatwasithinking said...

You* suck.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

THIS is awesome! the best kind of comedic writing!