Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A sign someone is Fat (or Lazy)

I was sitting and talking with some of my brothers when one of them started to tie his shoe. My brother Dan watched and said to the one tying his laces, "You're fat."

We all laughed and agreed with Dan but then Dan told us the reasons for his assesment. You see Dan's wife, Rachel, has a theory on shoe laces and people with too much belly. Now this may be a theory that other people know but it was the first time I ever heard of it and I thought it was hysterical.

The theory is this. People who are fat in the gut area lift their legs up and cross them over their knee to tie their shoes. This causes the knot, to be tied closer to the inside of the foot.

Most people who are in shape, bend over to tie their shoes and so the knot is in the center of the shoe. See the pictures for examples.


In this picture the shoe on the left is knotted in the center. That indicates a thin person. The shoe on the right was tied by lifting the leg onto the knee. This is how people with big guts tie their shoes.

Closer look of the knot tied closer to the inside of the foot.


The above picture demonstrates the fat lazy way of tying shoes.

Now today, while you walk around your office or home, look at your co-worker's or husband's or wife's shoes, or just observe people on the street, take notice of how they tie their shoes and remember Rachel's Theory of the Gut Knot.

Me, I will be out buying loafers.

41 comments:

kalki said...

It's so true! I'd never thought of it before, but now I will be noticing this everywhere.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Um, I love your sister-in-law.

Moi said...

Is no one going to say anything about the WHITE socks?

MP said...

That is 100% true..I realize though that the side tier may also have a puppy..if I put my face down to tie my shoe I get licked in the face..leg on knee..no puppy kisses.. Just an FYI

Anonymous said...

off subject but i read today that the phrase "under the bus" is now banned by Lake Superior State University's annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. read that and instantly thought of poop and boogies!!!

Melinda said...

I wanted to say something about the white socks...
What exactly does wearing white socks say about you?
I'm not pointing any fingers, but my grandfather wore white socks and brown shoes. I'm not sure where his laces were.

Circus Kelli said...

I only have ONE pair of tie shoes. There's a reason for this.

Circus Kelli said...

Moi - I'm not commenting on the white socks... or the shoes. ;)

Wendy said...

Very insightful! but what about all the laceless, slip-on styles?? The morbidly obese?

cat said...

Brilliant!

Oh, great. Now I'm going to be staring at FEET.

In other news, I just checked and my laces are tied skinny-style! Woot!

Dani said...

I can't tell you how happy I was to look down and realize that I'm wearing clogs.

Now I'm going to be staring at everyone's feet.

The Q said...

That is pretty funny! I just looked over at the Hubs' shoes and he's wearing Crocs. Let's not even go there.

sari said...

Good theory! We're lucky around here, it's nice most of the year so we can wear flip flops. Which I guess just qualifies all of us as lazy.

Christie said...

Ha ha. Before I read your last line, I kept wondering why y'all don't just start wearing slip-on shoes to avoid all scrutiny.

Chris H said...

I am sad cos I can totally relate to this! When I was huge (mostly in the belly) I had to wear shoes with no laces, there was NO WAY I could reach my shoes, even on my knee!!!! Nowdays I still get a thrill doing my laces up PROPERLY... cos I can.

Oh, The Joys said...

Those are much nicer than your light ups, man.

p.s. - the whole kindness thing?... we're still going to give each other a hard time, right?

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I can't stop looking....are you HAPPY now???

Hallie

Ern said...

I always wondered why someone would put their foot on their knee to tie their shoe. Now I know. And I know what to look for.

Diane said...

This method of observation probably means I am disqualified, because when I need to tie my shoe, I walk over to a place where I can put one foot up, such as a low bench or railing, then lean over just a bit to work on it.
Or, I find a wall to hide my backside while I squat down like somebody from Africa, tie my shoe, then brace my hand on the wall to get back up again.

My doctor and my mirror say I am overweight, so if the shoe tying process also provides evidence, I am guilty.

MrsDoF

SpecialK said...

Or... you could just look at the person's gut. This is a much easier way to determine fatness. No?

Sharkey said...

Thinking of you and your family.

Character Builder said...

William and family,

I'm sorry for your loss. You'll all be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of each other.

Circus Kelli said...

My prayers and good thoughts for you and your family, William. I am so very sorry...

traci said...

I've never visited here before however after visiting Susie this morning, I had to come over. I'm sorry for your loss. I will hold you and your family close in thought in the days to come. Peace.

The Chick said...

Interesting research! Once more Poop and Boogies solves the big mysteries! (Honestly, I love it!)

Odd Mix said...

Thinking of and praying for you and yours. I am very sorry for your loss.

The Q said...

I read the news over at Susie's...I'm SO sorry!!

I'm stunned actually and at a loss for words.

My thoughts are with you and your entire family.

thelairoftheplatypus said...

William I wanted to let you know how sorry I am for your loss and to send love to you and all your famiy.

sari said...

William,

You and your entire family have my prayers. I'm so sorry.

eclectic said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to read what I read at Susie's. If there's anything you or your mom need during this painful time, please email me.

Susie said...

William I am SO sorry to hear the sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for as long as you need them

cat said...

Aaw, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. Generic sentiment, I know, but I really TRULY am. Sorry.

Hugs.

mrtl said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your father, William.

Anonymous said...

to William and the entire Poop and Boogies clan...my deepest sympathy and prayers. It is wonderful you were able to spend the last several month with your dad and your boys had time with him.


i love that the title of your blog is a tribute to the man that made you the man you are...and you made him proud, i am sure.

in God's love...Melissa

Sharpie said...

My father had a "upside down V" shorts rule to gauge if you were fat. His theory in short, the fatter you are, the larger the " upside down V" shape in the shorts are made from the back view. It seems when you are fat, the material gets caught up in the middle, thus making this shape. I'll have to tell him about the shoelace theory - I'm sure he'll love it!

Sharpie said...

I commented without reading all of the other comments and had no idea - so very sorry for your loss!

Keeping you and your family in my prayers!

whatwasithinking said...

Y'all remain in my heart and in my prayers. Sending an extra hug for Momo9.

--Susie

michele mania said...

lol

i never thought about it.
my usual sneaks are slip ons and my only pair of tie up ones are my running shoes, not that i do much of that


i think the theory is brilliant!

pat said...

Unfortunately, about 2 years ago I noticed that my own shoes were knotted at the sides.

And I knew exactly what that meant.

Time for velcro-close shoes.

Marie said...

Very useful information. Next time I'm in a public restroom I can determine the weight of the person in the next stall with ease. Assuming she's wearing lace-up shoes. Now I have truly learned all that there is to learn and I can die happy.

Anonymous said...

I heard Marie has a "Wide Stance"