Shed

Since moving in with my parents, two weeks ago, there has been a debate going on between my mom and dad. The debate has been over the shed that my father built 20 some odd years ago. My mom wants the shed taken down and replaced with a new one. My dad thinks otherwise. My mom’s argument is that the shed is a ghetto shed. It has holes in the roof and floor and it has not been painted in many years. My dad thinks the shed has character.

The main reason my mom wants the shed destroyed is due to the critters. There is at least one ground hog that lives under the shed and Lauren and I saw an opossum hanging out near the shed last week. My mom was not happy to hear the news of a new critter.

This past weekend, the debate ended. With the “help” of my dad, (“help” meaning that I used his pry bar, his hammer, his Saws –All and his sledge hammer) I dismantled their shed. The ruckus that I caused at 9 AM on Saturday morning was enough to cause, Mrs. L, the widowed older neighbor, whose property borders my parent’s property where the shed occupied, to come outside and inspect the demolition. Mrs. L is pleasant enough and her and I got to talking about the different critters that live under the shed. She has seen the ground hog and noted that she thought they lived under her deck just 30 feet away from my parent’s shed.

Every now and then my mom would pop her head out the back door to see the progress. She is deathly afraid of animals and would not come too close in fear that the varmints would come scurrying from the home at any moment. She brought out drinking water on one occasion and asked me if I had found any money in the shed. I told her, with the 8 boys that lived at their house I was more likely to find beer, pot, or porn mags stashed in the shed. There was none.

After a few hours the shed was completely demolished. Mrs. L was in her back yard doing some work by her deck and she yelled out. “Oh my God. There is something under my deck. I think it is the ground hog.”

I walked over and peered through the lattice covering. There was definitely an animal there, but it looked more like an opossum and I told her so. She was convinced it was dead and I told her that opossum’s do that. They play dead. Mrs. L carried on for a few more minutes about the animal under her deck. She tried banging on the deck and throwing water on the animal but the thing did not move. She finally asked my dad for help. He found a long thin pole and attempted to nudge the animal though the lattice to see if it would move.

Lauren and my mom must have heard the commotion and came outside to spectate.

“What’s going on over there?” My mom asked nodding towards the neighbor’s deck.

I laughed and said, “I don’t know but this day is getting weirder. I am watching Dad, poke Mrs. L’s opossum with a pole.”