Thursday, February 23, 2006

Disclaimer

Anne lives down the street from us. Lauren and Anne get together a few times a week so Max can play with Anne’s kids. Last week Lauren had the pleasure of meeting Anne’s new, next-door neighbors an elderly couple that moved in a few weeks ago. Lauren chatted with them for while and they invited us over for this week to socialize.

Anne got a babysitter and we dropped Max at Anne’s and Anne, her husband, Lauren and I went next door. We walked in the front door and were greeted by William (very cool name) who greeted us all with a big smile and handshakes. I was last one through the front door and I introduced myself and joked about the two of us having the same name, as Lauren and the others headed through the house to the back porch.

Being a super observant person I noticed the William had a big white gauze patch that covered half of his forehead. Also being one who has to state the obvious I said, “What happened to you? Did you take a spill or did your wife crack you with a frying pan?”

William laughed and explained that he recently had some surgery to remove some cancerous tissue from his scalp and that he was undergoing treatment to make sure the wound healed properly. He started to tell me about himself, that he was retired pastor and that they moved to Florida to be closer to their grandchildren when his wife called us back to the porch, where we would sit and talk.

The group was chitchatting and making small talk when William asked me a question. Knowing full well that I just made the remark about the frying pan, to a man of the cloth, I said, “Let me start by saying this; I want to apologize to my wife beforehand, for anything I might say tonight that may embarrass her.”

To which Lauren replied, “And I want to apologize to everyone else for anything he might say to embarrass me.”

22 comments:

lawnwhisperer said...

Bill,

Dude's got gauze on his head, I ask the same question. If you had gauze on your head, wouldn't you expect someone to ask you about it?

Tammy said...

You guys kill me!

Anonymous said...

You should have asked the reverend if he wanted to borrow your beer helmet to cover the gauze. Is it me or is gauze a weird word?

Peanutt said...

At least you and Lauren are on the same page!!! LOL.

TBG said...

Too funny!

Maybe Anne or William left the cone behind the car!

Susie said...

You aren't supposed to ASK! You are supposed to wait til they mention it! Unknown Women's Ettiquette page 586. Right under the paragraph on doing your best to not making any noise whatsoever when you are going to the bathroom on a public toilet.

LizzieDaisy said...

You know, reverends have a sense of humor too. Just sayin. :)

And I am curious... did you blow it or were you able to hold on the whole time you were there? Hee.

Odd Mix said...

I'd definitely ask. Holy cow, not asking is just rude. They know you want to ask, so if you don't they feel compelled to bring it up. If they bring it up then they look dumb if they don't explain. If, on the other hand, you ask and they don't want to explain then they can say, "too long a story" or, "just a little cut." and then you shut up. That is the polite thing to do - just get it overwith - like removing a bandaid... or a gauze patch.

Lauren said...

Wait, wait, wait just a minute here. The integral part of the story that our beloved William is leaving out is that last week after I first met the pastor, I came home & explained to Bill the whole story about the melanoma, how he's been wearing the patch for over a year, his 30 days of treatments in the hyperbolic chamber, etc., etc., etc. Bill was well aware of why he had the patch... this is a classic case of Bill's "disease" of the mouth. I didn't hear about the frying pan comment until after we got home, and I'm not sure if the tears I shed were from the level of embarrassment I felt, or the intensity of me laughing so hard.

Stacie said...

You guys are a riot! An absolute Riot! Stacie

Mich said...

At least you had the good sense to apologize to Lauren - my hubby is still clueless about how his diarrea of the mouth is offensive on most occasions!

Kami said...

I want to hug her.

kalki said...

You know, I think this is progress. Or maybe apologizing in advance is just evidence that you're resigned (determined?) that you'll never change. :)

Anonymous said...

Lauren... I think you may need to write more addendums to Bill's stories... Ahhh the truth spills out .... You told him about why the good Pastor has had a Guaze pad on for over a year last week...

Well you see... You said you told Bill this LAST WEEK..... Lauren, Lauren, Lauren.... when will you learn.... To us guys... Last Week is like 4 years ago for us...

I don't blame Bill for this embarrassment.... No No No... You should have prep him again right before you went over... you see that way we will remember...

Then Bill could of just walked in, greeted the pastor and ask where he could get a cool white Pirate patch !!!

-somehow related-

Circus Kelli said...

That's what marriage is all about, I think. :)

Very funny...

LotionBarBunny said...

Lauren thanks for the addendum. William, you crack me up.

No_Newz said...

You two are too cute! I think it's okay to ask a pastor that question. You could have even gone with, "So, your wife beats the fear of God into you too huh?!" ;)
Enjoy your new friends.
Have a great weekend!
Lois Lane

Drama Mama said...

I am suggesting that the hubby apologize to everyone we meet, for any offesive remarks and or actions, upon meeting them from now on.

Thanks.

Wacko said...

You gotta ask. If he lost an arm you wouldn't go on pretending that he has two arms.

The Kept Woman said...

See? There's a smart woman.

Sounds like you two know each other all too well and isn't that what love is all about?

Mainline Mom said...

Lauren is so great.

RzDrms said...

i heart lauren. methinks she should post more often. (no offense, bill! we love you the mostest! just a little "addendum" here and there from your lovely sidekick might make us giggle and snork all the more!!! ::hugs::)