Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Make Out

There is no such thing as a bad cheese steak. Sure some are waaay better than others but there is no such thing as a bad one. A cheese steak*, to me, is just like making out; sometimes it is a little sloppy and wet; sometimes it is a little dry; sometimes you need to use more tongue; and sometimes it smells like onions but for the most part I am just happy to be getting some. Now that Lauren and I have 3 boys there is not a lot of time to be getting cheese steaks (see another way to compare it to making out). We try to set a good example of eating and cooking right and we leave the fatty take-out to a once in a while occasion.

This past Saturday night was that once in a while occasion.

In the city there is a debate about who has the best cheese steaks, Pat's, Geno's or Jim's. Out in the burbs most places make a decent cheese steak but none ever can compete with the those big three. Lauren found a coupon for Tonelli's and we decided to give it a try. I've gotta tell you it was one of the best cheese steak sandwiches I have had.

Saturday night into Sunday morning, around 2 AM, Lauren woke up and told me she was not feeling well, she felt nauseous. Twenty minutes later she was vomiting. My first thought was "Man I hope she does not have a stomach bug or flu." My second thought was, "I hope she will be okay." My third thought was "Looks like I have go the kids all day. My fourth thought, "Maybe it was something she ate. What did we have different that we normally don't have?" And my fifth and final thought, which I guess I should be ashamed to admit was, "OH NO! Cheese steak. We had Cheese steaks. I hope it was not the cheese steaks. Oh I hope she has a stomach bug. I hope she has a stomach bug. I hope she has a stomach bug."

I need to defend my wish that my wife had a stomach bug.

Did you ever drink too much gin or eat some kind of curry dish, only to get sick later and throw-up? You end up swearing off that brand of gin. Or you refuse to ever eat curry again. It has nothing to do with the food itself , but just the smell of curry brings back the memory of the dry heaves it caused is enough to make you stay away. It can be any kind of food or drink, once you associate it with vomiting you usually, for years, will not touch the stuff. So if Lauren associated the awesome Cheese steaks with her being sick, there was a really good chance that we would, not only never go that place again, but we would never get cheese steaks again. I couldn't have that. These cheese steaks were that awesome and were only minutes away from my house.

Turned out Lauren had a bug. She was in bed all day Sunday. When she was not in bed she was throwing up. It was a bad day.

I did my best to occupy the kids throughout the day getting ready for Valentine's Day parties on Monday. I also did my best to take care of my sick wife. All day I had a nagging thought in the back of my head that there was a chance that I may get the stomach bug too. I kept trying to eat bland things or maybe things that I knew I already did not like just in case I got nauseous. I did not want to have a an episode that would cause me to banish the delicious chopped steak and cheese in a long roll. I had cereal for breakfast, toast for lunch. I made a dinner of plain grilled chicken, asparagus and crackers.

Sunday night as I placed out Valentine's days cards and gifts for my kids and wife I decided to have a snack. We had a bag of Doritos and a bag of plain corn tortilla chips. I am so glad I chose the plain corn chips. At 2 AM I caught the stomach bug. I was thankful for puking tortilla chips. I love Doritos. I was in bed all day Monday. Thankfully Lauren was doing better (it was only a 24 hour bug). It was her turn to take care of me. I couldn't move at all on Valentine's Day. Nothing says "I love you" like the willingness to clean up a person's bag of vomit and bile.


As I was laying in bed in a sleep deprived dehydrated cramp induced delirium I couldn't help but be thankful that I too had a stomach bug. Because then I knew it was not the cheese steaks.

I look forward to another night of Tonelli's cheese staek make-out. I mean take-out.



* When you live in the Philadelphia Pa area you don't call a a cheese steak a "Philly Style Cheese steak. It is just a Cheese steak.

16 comments:

teri said...

I can't stand when they say a true cheesesteak is one with cheeze wiz. Never will that pass my lips. American cheese. I've eaten at Pat's. Not impressed. I need to try Jim's. I've heard it's good.

Glad you and the wife and doing better.

mrtl said...

you, sir, are an artist with words

Michelle said...

Glad you and Lauren are feeling better. And that there is no need to swear off Cheese Steak or Doritos. I couldn't eat tacos for nearly a decade after my little incident. Sad but true.

kcinnova said...

I'd be hungry for cheese steak but I'm feeling a little queasy...

Glad it was just a 24-hour bug. Hope the kids didn't get it, too!

Michelle said...

Best steaks in Philly are from Dalessandro's in Manayunk! Best meats, rolls & they don't use that nasty cheez-whiz crap!

Hope you all had a speedy recovery & it skipped the boys!

SciFi Dad said...

Somehow, stories about adult puke is WAY more stomach churning than kid puke.

Thanks. You're the gift that keeps on giving.

Amy M. said...

Sorry you're ailing! I miss Jim's. It's hard to find a good cheese steak in the Midwest! Although, being a WI girl, I can't help but shudder at the thought of Wiz! Provolone all the way!

En said...

cheese wiz is the anti-christ. glad you feel better. hope the kids are same.

Anonymous said...

I stopped listeningafter you stopped talking about making out.

Effie said...

I have never had a cheesesteak. I can't imagine having cheez whiz on a steak. It's inconceivable.

(canadian here)

Ricky said...

That was the first time you ate Tonelli's?? Good food.great pizza. I just won a contest on Facebook to name their latest pizza. I won a free pizza for naming it. Shame of it is I don't eat what's on the pizza so I wouldn't order it but it sounds good for those that aren't picky eaters. You should make out with it sometime when the new menu comes out. It's called the Italian Stallion.

Shannon said...

I know exactly what you mean. For me it was cream cheese blintzes. *shudder* And they were SO good. That was five years ago. Haven't touched a blintz, cream cheese or otherwise, since.

SoozieQ said...

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. Min is gin. The smell of it, or even pine needles at times, will make me dry heave. It's been over 20 years...my god I'm old.

karen.j.cosme said...

not a fan of cheese steak only because i've never had one. plastic orange goo? what? no. my intro to that type of sammie was with onions caramelized in butter. too good.

about ten years ago, after working 2-3 hours with increasing back pain and weakness, i struggled to get home. i exited the building okay but, on the way to my ride, two crunchy PBJs on wheat spewed onto the street. there were two or three more of those episodes after finally getting home, but i slept until the next day.

and no longer a fan of CPB.

Melinda said...

Sorry to hear your family had vomiting flu. (Hallmark need to make a card for that!)I saw on Facebook one of the boys caught the bug too.
I was violently ill after having about 6 lemon sherbet boiled sweets that are a common candy sweet here in England. I actually had food poisoning from some bad fish but it was the lemon sherbets that I remember tasting second time round. That was 31 years ago and I still can't bear the thought of a lemon sherbet sweetie. (yuuuck.) I eat lots of fish though. Go figure?

Bogart said...

MMmmmmmmm Pat's.

I think I just got turned on.