I am starting a list of things that were invented by people who clearly do/did not have children because if they did have kids they would have realized the absolute insanity the items on this list can cause and they would have abandoned the invention in the first place.
Item 1--Coin operated kiddie rides/mechanical horses/race cars that sit outside of grocery stores.
Item 2-- Claw and Crane toy machines.
Please add your own items in the comments.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
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Pixie Sticks
moon sand.
Shoes that make noises.
Colored play-dough that gets into your carpeting
Polly Pockets, or any other toy with removable parts smaller than a newborn's fingernail
Shoes that require batteries
Shelves filled with all sorts of gel or spray candy, or any candy for that matter at the check out counters.
Buttons on overalls
KIDS! Who invented them? That is where the problem lies.
that lawnmower toy that goes 'clack clack clack' when you roll it...and to add insult to injury it doesn't mow shit.
Fake vacuum cleaners that make noise like the aforementioned lawnmowers. And for the exact same reason!!
Oh!! Those gel-gooey hands and feet that stick on walls and ceilings and leave oily marks. Hate those.
Toys with sounds/lights and no off switch.
The arcade at the movie theater! Hellloooo? It already costs like a bazillion dollars to go to the movies these days with kids & to top it off they now have an arcade at the entrance. Seriously, can we parents (or our pocketbooks) catch a break already???
How about kids meals at various restaurants? I just LOVE going to the Olive Garden with our two year olds & order pasta. Angel Hair or Spaghetti looks SO good on the walls & floor! LOL!
Toddler-sized pants with a zip-up fly and a button. Good luck getting an 18-month-old to hold still long enough to zip and button. Snaps, please!
Ooh! And those "Tadoodles" crayon things from Crayola. Those tips bite off WAY easier than a regular crayon.
The grocery carts with the truck on the front and TWO steering wheels. PLEASE. Those trucks are no where near big enough for two kids. So then it just devolves into a fight about "She's touching me! She's using MY steering wheel!"
Silly string.
White sofas. Say no more.
Shane Harmony, Noooooo!
I Loooooove SillyString!!!
So, uh, what's wrong with the crane toys? I have been wanting to buy one for my kid ever since I never had one.
The machines with the crap in the eggs outside the grocery store.
Candy shaped like baby bottles or pacifiers.
The kiddie playscapes that are entirely enclosed in Chickfila, or any other place, with no ventilation to clean air. Those places SMELL and are petri dishes!
Candy that is perfect choking size.
White carpet.
White anything for that matter. :)
How about goody bags from parties? Okay, sure, I enjoyed them when I was younger too. But as a parent I find them aggravating. A bag full of a bunch of plastic junk toys from the dollar store that my children then break into pieces over the next few hours/days and I have to throw out. Just give them some extra cake or something. lol.
sugar who was the dumb ass that made it legal to give kids sugar
toy drums.
Of course not! They were made by people who KNOW kids...and love $!
I vote for Webkinz. :)
flip flops for kids who just barely learned to walk.
Hello?
I can barely walk without flipping those things off from time to time...and I live in the hottest place on earth...where we have spring, summer, and winter flip flops.
Ugh.
I'm with Erin -- no pants for little boys and girls need zippers and buttons! Good heed! Elastic waist bands are quick and easy...and comfy. I wish ALL women's pants were made with elastic waist bands so if I wanted to wear them I wouldn't feel like an old lady.
little girl play makeup and nail polish with the glitter that sticks to everything (or so I've heard. We don't have a girl.)
This isn't an invention, but...
WHO decided it was such a hot idea to put the candy aisles near the cash registers on the way out of the grocery stores???
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