Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Medical Story-Good Vibration

“Have a seat up here.” The nurse said as she pulled on roll of crinkly white paper covering the examination bed.

“Do you have any crayons?” I asked. “So I can draw pictures while I wait.” I pointed at the paper on the bed.

She ignored my joke and asked “What brings you here today?”

“Um….well…”I stuttered.

She glanced at my chart and her eyes widened as she realized the purpose of my visit. Not waiting for my answer, she mumbled something about the doctor seeing me in few moments and she quickly left the room. A few minutes later there was soft knock on the door and the doctor entered. He was a young guy, maybe late twenties, his name tag clearly showing that he was one of the doctors in training.

“What brings you in today, William?”

“My left testicle is vibrating.”

He kept his best poker face on as he asked me a series of questions regarding the symptoms. I explained all that had happened up that point. I answered--It is only the left one. About a week. Constant. No injuries. No pain. Just the left one. No other symptoms.

“Is it a twitch or a vibration?” he asked.

“Vibration. Like a cell phone is buzzing in there.”

“Can you feel it now?”

I laughed. “Is that a cell phone joke?” I asked. “Like the Verizon commercials?”

He smiled. “That’s funny, but no. Is it vibrating right now?”

“Yes.”

“Can you feel it with your hands?”

“No. Every time I reach down there to check. It stops.”

“It stops?”

“Yes. It’s like my ball knows that I am reaching for it and it stops. Like its hiding.”

He chuckled.

“I know ball is not the medical term but you know what I mean” I told him. “Feel free to laugh doc. Seriously; it may make this easier for both of us.”

“I just think it is funny that you gave it a personality.” He said.

“Well, don’t we all?”

He snapped on some rubber gloves and told me he was going to check me for any lumps or to see if he could feel anything. The examination was a little more than the typical turn your head and cough routine. He squeezed and poked and prodded.

“I think it was hiding from me as well.” He laughed when he finished the exam. “I do not feel anything abnormal. No lumps or anything that I would think could be the cause of it.”

“Basically you are telling me my balls feel fine.”

He was stunned. He then cracked up and in between chuckles he then said. “Yes. I guess that is what I am saying although I am not sure how to take that.”

The doctor told me he was going to have to look up some information and consult with the attending physician and he left the room. He returned a few minutes later with the attending physician who was a guy much older than me.

“What’s the verdict?” I asked.

“You’re nuts.” Said the young resident, followed up with a “Ba-dum dum.”

I laughed but the attending just gave us a stern look. The attending physician read off a list of possible causes of a vibrating testicle. He was very serious and talked about cancer of the prostate and testicles. He mentioned blood flow and nerve damage. The tone of the conversation started to concern me.

The attending doctor explained to me what he thought was the problem. “I think the most likely explanation is that you have some kind of groin injury that you are unaware of. There is a tendon that runs though that area that can cause the sensation you are feeling and it would explain why you are only have the vibration on the left side. I think if you should take it easy and see if the symptoms stop. I wouldn’t worry about.”

“Wait a minute.” I said. “What if it was your testicle that was vibrating? Would you worry about it?”

Both doctors noted my concern and explained that since it was only the left side that it was most likely not prostate related. They ruled out other causes based on my symptoms and the physical exam. They eased my concerns and I felt better. They decided I should have blood work done to be safe and rule out other possibilities.

The young resident explained. “The other cause could be that you are experiencing low testosterone levels and you 're working extra hard to produce more testosterone.”

I waited for it.

The young doctor then added. “No pun intended.”

We both laughed.

Epilogue-
The results of my blood work were fine. All levels were good. No evidence of any diseases, cancer or low testosterone. A few weeks after that visit the vibrating stopped. My testicles feel fine.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mine feel fine also.

Susie said...

Mine, too. Thank you for posting so quickly. Don't take this the wrong way, but discussing your testicle over breakfast with my husband this morning . . . it was gettin' a little weird up in here, if you know'm sayin'...

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I think you should get a second opinion from your wife.

Patience said...

They feel fine? To whom??

I feel a song coming on . . . "Good Vibrations"

I think I'll check and see if my husband's vibrate. Y'know that could be a very good thing!

Ah! My word verification:
gonstanq. Sounds like gonads stink.

gigglepotamus said...

I think my boob just twitched...

Mainline Mom said...

Glad the young doc had a sense of humor. Also glad you're fine.

Melinda said...

I have had your vibrating testicle in my thoughts for the last 2 days!
I am glad to have that load off my brain now. ( And Susie thinks she had it weird!)
Glad you are in good testicle health!
There is a greeting card market Hallmark hasn't touched yet.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Well thank goodness for healthy balls!

Nilbo said...

If you ask me, this was all a cheap ploy to get half the women on the Internets thinking about your balls.

Well played, my friend, well played.

Lowa said...

Wow and I thought us women has weird stuff to deal with!

Never heard of a vibrating testicle before. Got me thinking and I just asked my son if his ever do that. Wow...if I had a picture of the dirty look he gave me! Sheesh, pardon me! I am just wondering!

Circus Kelli said...

Glad to hear everything is fine there.

You didn't get insulted when he said they felt "fine", did you?

Like "fine"? That's it? Just "fine"?!

Hmm. Word Verification is "redile" Dude, they totally spelled that wrong... unless it's like some new ED medication or something...

Oh... and Nilbo is like so totally jealous...

Ok... going back under my rock now.

eclectic said...

Now, if only you could get them to vibrate on command... ;)



Gigglepotamus: Nothing to worry about unless it starts dancing and wanting to wear tassles.

James said...

Did any of this follow a quarter being dropped accidently into wrong 'place'?

Nothing about the hot flashes?

JP said...

It took a lot of balls for you to relate that story to all of us...heh...

SoMo said...

Uh, congrats?

Jody said...

I just want you to know that I read this out loud to Doug...

SciFi Dad said...

So wait... tell us again why you wanted the man doctor to feel your balls and not the woman?

Amanda said...

Glad to hear "they're" fine!

Anonymous said...

CWilliam finally you have become the
Super hero you have always wanted to be
~testicular vibration man~ when someone
Is in trouble your BALLS vibrate!!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Seems like your doctor was really on the ball.

Sorry. That was horrible.

Little Miss English Teacher said...

Maybe he was feeling a little lonely. Needed to show off a bit to remind you that he was around?

Hm, here I go giving your balls a personality again.

Do you think that he'll slam the door in your face or lock you out of the house next time?

kcinnova said...

“Can you feel it now?”
“Basically you are telling me my balls feel fine.”
“You’re nuts.”
ROTFLOL Did he mean fine, or FINE?

Of course, we can only laugh because it all worked out in the end.

I'm still wondering how a guy could possibly have a groin injury and Not Know It!!

Tori Spelling said...

How did you make it through the entire exam without a "that's what she said?"

wordmama said...

You know you've reached a whole new level in the blogdom when you write about your balls for two days straight and women like me actually read it. Well done.

Bogart in P Towne said...

I think your testicles feel just fine as well...or so I have heard.

teri said...

I'm glad you're okay. You can never be too careful.

Sheri said...

I really should no better than to read your blog while in the office. I laughed out loud. I think I snorted!

So glad everything turned out OK.

Robin said...

Oh dear God, I have not laugh so hard in my life, my stomach actually hurts.

Erin said...

"My testicles are fine."

That's what (s)he said.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Especially when I saw no one else had said it. :)

Oh, and @eclectic? Awesome. :)

Effie said...

everything I wanted to say here just feels too dirty to type...

um...glad your balls are back to normal...

Vicky said...

Glad you got great results from your vibrating ball. Definitely a new one on me.

Jo's Outlet said...

Vibrating testicle... Hmmm...maybe Lauren's wish is coming true.

No_Newz said...

The doc is right, you are nuts. I think that was baby 4 boxing HER way out of that sac.

Chad said...

I have the same issue currently, and the weirdest thing that I have experienced is that my zipper vibrates, and every time I instantly reach for my phone assuming its ringing.

Wolfblood said...

Got the exact same thing going on, left side, first thing I thought of was that it felt like the sensation of a cell phone going off referred to my boys. Been off and on for some time now, no pain, no other symptoms, and I never feel the vibration when I touch it.

Visually I saw some weird movement of the skin, odd writhing and accordion-like movement. The doc said *that* was the result of my body trying to regulate the temperature down there for fertility issues, as I was in a hot tub at the time that made sense.

The vibration feeling is a bit disconcerting though... other than that it is somewhat entertaining to talk about my testicles.

vs420michael66 said...

ive had the vibrating symtom for 3 days now.its in both not just one.it will do it for 5 sec or so then stop.it doesnt do it all the time.mostly when i sit.i was scared a little because ive never heard of such a thing.

Damiko Are said...

That just happened to me as I finished reading this...it feels like my balls were boxing.