Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Torture

As I watch my two boys grow, certain answers to life's questions become clearer to me.

I think I now understand why older brothers will take any opportunity, for the rest of their life, to pick on their little brothers.

Wyatt is two years younger than Max and although Wyatt does not realize it at this time, he torments Max on a regular basis. Max will build a huge Geo-Trax railroad and Wyatt will want to help and step on the pieces and mess up the track. Max will build a big tower of blocks and Wyatt, thinking he is part of the game, will knock it over. Max will want to watch a show and Wyatt will stand directly in front of the TV blocking Max’s view.

But it is not these circumstances that will make Max, later in life, do his best to torment Wyatt. What I think has started Max’s brain storing potential ways to get back at Wyatt is the fact that Wyatt is still under the protection of his parents.

When Wyatt does something like knocking over the tower, Max will try to retaliate. But, nine out of ten times, Max is stopped by his parents with, “Max, Wyatt is just a little guy. He does not know better.”

And when Max knocks over Wyatt’s tower, Max is scolded and corrected with “Max you should know better. He is your little brother and you need to be nice to him.”

I understand that a four year old does not quite get this concept.

Max will eventually discover that a combination of Skittles and Kool-Aid makes the perfect gooey, sugary saliva combination for a gobbledygook torture. When he is older he will pin Wyatt down and Max will dangle a string of spit over Wyatt's face and he will slurp it back up. Max will do this over and over again as payback for all that Wyatt has done.

And now I can understand why it was done to me and why I did it to others.

19 comments:

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

This story reminds me of my little cousin Beaner. He would come in and punch either me or his big bother, then if we hit him back, he would run and tell on us. WE always got in trouble because he was younger and we "should know better". To be honest, it still makes me mad when I think about it and that was a good 17 years ago!

Now please excuse me while I go punch a wall!!!

Circus Kelli said...

Oh God. I'm SO glad I never had brothers...

Bogart in P Towne said...

You have solved one of life's greatest mysteries! Thank you and I will make sure that my little bro reads this.

gigglepotamus said...

Ewww...

Anonymous said...

I'm replacing the M&Ms for Skittles...just for entertainment purposes.

Anonymous said...

Some Fun Dip will add elasticity to the equation (approx 2 more inches) Lawn Whisperer should be ashamed.

Aunt Jo said...

That is the worst thing my husband has ever done to me. Hold me down and dangle spit on me. I have not recovered yet.

Character Builder said...

Well, I can tell you that older sisters are no better. Sharkey "pretended" to dangle spit over me one time, except that it "accidentally" landed on my face. My kids haven't done this to each other. Yet.

Lys said...

Worse for Wyatt when he miscalculates the elasticity of the spit...

Above Average Joe said...

The things I missed without having any brothers.

Melinda said...

Older brothers don't have the monopoly on torturing younger brothers. Older sisters do exactly the same thing. Older sisters can be vicious.
(but I love her to bits now!)

Crumbs said...

You got me thinking, I wonder what I did to really deserve the "Greenhouse Gases" treatment...you know, when you are under a blanket and big brother manages to squeeze a fart underneath then hold you under?

Stacie said...

To this day I thank God I was the oldest.

Stacie

Great Rambler said...

I've been reading your blog and I find it hugely entertaining. I'm delurking to say Hi and to tell you that I've just added you to my blogroll. Hope you dont mind.

SoMo said...

Being an older child, I hated that "You should know better, you are older" crap. It is the main reason I don't do it to my children. I don't get involve in many of their squabbles until there is physical violence. I figure what better way to teach them to work things out or simply save my sanity.

With all that said, my older child will get in major trouble when she irrates her little brother for the sake of hearing him scream. Not really for him, but because it annoys the crap out of me.

raisingtheboys said...

Ugh boys are SO GROSS!

becky said...

I think brothers will always be like this.. no matter what. That's why I'm glad I had only sisters. smile:)

Tismee2 said...

Oh what I missed out on being an only child....

My two are 9 years apart and practically ignore each other, except when they are both in the car and then squabble like they are both 5 years old.

Please don't tell them about the spit thing. Wet willies are bad enough.

Fetcher said...

Just so you know .. I have three girls about 2 years apart as well. What you describe isn't all that different from the battles my girls go through, except replace GeoTracks for play makeup and such. It's just funny, and I love your blog.