Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Extra room

This post was written last week, before this story.




“Let’s try to get the emergency exit row.” John said over his shoulder as we stood in line waiting to board the Southwest flight.


I looked at my boarding pass for the tenth time to make sure it read, “group A”, which it did. Our group would be the first on the plane. I appreciated the fact that I printed our passes the day before. There were only ten other people in front of us. We had first dibs.


I asked the woman at the gate if the flight was expected to be crowded. She told me there were only a few open seats.


John and I made our way onto the plane and found the exit row open. John sat by the window and I sat in the aisle seat, the seat between us was empty.


John leaned over and said, “It would be great if no one sat here.” He patted the seat between us. Even though he goes to the gym daily, I guess he still needs the…um..extra room.


I laughed and told him I would make sure no one sat with us.


“How are you going to do that?” He asked.


I rubbed my eyes and cheeks so they appeared red and I started coughing. Every time someone from groups B and C came by and glanced towards the seat I coughed. I slouched a bit in my seat and did what I could to make myself look like a total sick loser.


The plane filled quickly. Every time, someone appraoched our section I coughed. I could see John snicker a bit. The last group of passengers boarded, and they were looking for any empty seat available. My throat was going hoarse from all the coughing that I could not keep up with the traffic of passengers.


A group of people reached our part of the plane, stuffing their bags in the overhead compartments. I mustered up one or two more coughs. John laughed again and said loudly over the hum of the engines, “We should just talk about your Herpes and genital warts.”


No one sat next to us. Mission accomplished.

22 comments:

Jay said...

Oh, man. This is brilliant. Are you the guy they were looking for? Are you quarantined?

lawnwhisperer said...

Most comfortable flight I have ever been on. Genius move by Bill.

Anonymous said...

My guess is that people could not even see that there was an open seat between you two.

Chris H said...

YOU ARE EVIL, TRULY, and a stroke of genius by Bill. Ha ha ha.

Chris H said...

Anonymous.... nasty!

Stacie said...

I'm so going to use this!
Stacie

eclectic said...

Or you could just have a diaperbag with you and set it on the seat with a diaper open at the ready. They'll assume your wife's boarding with the baby later. But herpes is nice, too.

Katrina Frye said...

That is so clever! As a side note, my dh was raised in Hatboro as well. Small world...

kalki said...

You two make quite the team. Love you guys.

judypatooote said...

Great thinking.....but it truly was probably your coughing that kept the people away.....lol

Oh, The Joys said...

Idiot savant.

Circus Kelli said...

Classic. You two should have taken turns coughing...

Effie said...

hahaha

Patience said...

A crying baby works too.

Teri aka "Peach Pit" said...

you have brass ones.

Esmerelda said...

That's too funny. I'm going to work that angle PRONTO.

Mainline Mom said...

Nice...real nice.

Michelle said...

hee hee. Good tactic. My sister will often fill her airsickness bag with some wet crackers right after sitting down - nobody wants to sit next to a puker!

Scottsdale Girl said...

When people ask if they can sit in the middle seat next to me I look at them incredulously and say "WHAT? YOU want to sit in THIS crappy seat? Really?" Only one person has looked me right in the eyes and said "YES!".

Freak

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Smart smart smart. I just have to fly with my kids and I have three extra rows surrounding us, not to mention the seats in between!

Dan Boles said...

Clever, yet magnificent! Hope the kids are well. <;>< db

ewe are here said...

Unless you have a child with you, I think this only works for men.