Thursday, October 09, 2008

Compound

I live 6 miles from my mom's house. I am the closest child who lives outside of the "compound". The "compound" is my mom's neighborhood. Somebody started to call it the "compound" when my brother Jim (AKA The Favorite) bought a house 5 blocks from my parent's house. In an effort to try and out-do Jim and become the favorite, my brother Mike bought a house 4 blocks from my parent's house. My parent's neighborhood is now called the "compound" by the rest of us.

Since Mike and Jim live so close to my mom they are the first ones to be called when something needs to be done. A foot and half of snow in the driveway, they get called to shovel. Water in the basement from a heavy rain, they go and shop-vac. Mom needs help moving furniture, they are the first to be called. When I lived with my parents, last year, I was part of the "compound". I felt kinda of special. I mean, I was never really accepted as one of them because the living arrangment was temporary but it was cool to fit in for a bit. I knew that my mom loved me a little bit more than those that did not live in the compound.

And then, even after I bought a house in the same town as my folks, It was deemed too far away to be part of the compound. I no longer felt special. I felt like I was demoted. I was not as loved as Mike and Jim.

Last Saturday the "Compound Kids" were away and I got the call. It was about 9PM and I had just put on my pajamas and was eating a bowl of ice cream when the phone rang. I answered.

"Bill." The other voice on the phone said, "I need you to do me a favor. Well it is not me who needs the favor, it is Mom that needs the favor. You see I am at work and Jimmy is out of town and Mom needs a favor."

The way that he asked it almost seemed like he was using a code. Almost like he was ashamed to ask me, a non compound person, to step in.

"What do you need Mike?" I asked.

"Mom is watching Jim's kids overnight tonight. She went outside to check on something and saw that there was a dead rabbit on the driveway. She does not want the kids to see the rabbit if they go out to play in the morning. She needs someone to go and clean it up."

"A dead rabbit? Really?"

"Yeah. I would do it when I get done work but that would be at 2 in the morning."

"Okay. I will go over there now." I said and I hung up the phone.

I put together my "dead rabbit clean up kit" which consisted of a shovel, two trash bags and a pair of garden gloves and headed over to my Moms. I made quick work of the clean up and put the rabbit's body in two plastic bags, tied them securely, and put the bag in my mom's trash can. I went inside her house to wash my hands and to also bask in the glow of her love knowing that I was for a few minutes her favorite son and the most loved.

"Where did you put it?" she asked in a hushed tone so the kids would not overhear.

"It is in your trash can."

"What? No it can't go there. You have to get rid of it. I don't want the bugs and trash day is next Friday. You have to take it with you."

"Where am I going to take it?"

"I don't know. Just not here."

"Fine. I will take it to the Sunoco Station and throw it in their trash can."

"Yes. That would be better."

"I can't believe I am going to be driving around with a dead rabbit in my car. You know I am going to blog about this right?"

"Yes. That's fine. Just get rid of the rabbit."

30 comments:

Bogart in P Towne said...

What would you have told the cops if you got pulled over?

"What is in the trash bag sir?"

nobody you'd know said...

.....such a good son!

Susie said...

I think I saw something like this on The Sopranos. Are you talking in code here? Who was that "rabbit" -- REALLY?

Dr Zibbs said...

I hear you. I live 2 house down from my parents.

Mindy said...

Oh, that's funny, and so, so familiar. My brother is "The Favorite" yet he does absolutely nothing for her. I am ALWAYS the one called. I have blogged about her many times, lol.

Mindy said...

At least she doesn't call you to come get her mail because the wind would mess up her hairdo.

eclectic said...

Who killed Roger Rabbit? I bet Mike did just so he could call and make you clean it up.

Anna See said...

Sounds like you are back in the fold-- you've earned it!

Tracey said...

Awww...I would say that ups you a few places.

Effie said...

I hope that my children are as thoughtful as you, to come out and tend to me in my time of need...

(I'm a blogger again)

Undercover Mutha said...

Not to sound unappreciative of your temporary status as favorite son, but

TWO TRASH BAGS?!?!?

James Austin said...

It was a rabbit right? There have to be plenty more of them around to get offed. I'm sure you are now on permanant rabbit cleanup duty, since you did such a fine job.

tricki_nicki said...

That's so sweet! Nothing says "I love you" like a dead rabbit and the Sunoco Station!

Wow, I'm really glad I have three boys. It's such a relief to know that my nasty chores will always be taken care of.

kalki said...

Susie's comment cracked me up. So did this: "I went inside her house to wash my hands and to also bask in the glow of her love knowing that I was for a few minutes her favorite son and the most loved."

I've said before that I wish I were part of your family. Now I wanna be part of the compound.

Coffee Bean said...

What a good grown up boy you are!

I wonder just how many of us Americans there are that are in their jammies and eating ice cream at 9 pm... Norman Rockwell moment if you ask me!

Sue said...

Ah, the things we do for our parents...gotta love um!

JP said...

Did your wife say, "Is that a rabbit in the trash bag or are you happy to see me?"

Aliisa and Sundy said...

From Sundy:
Good son!

I know the feeling of being "outside the compound." My brother and I live too far away from my mom to scoop up dead rabbits....

Wait...I *think* that's a *good* thing. ;)

Tiff said...

LOL that is classic!!! I have this mental picture of your mom whispering about this rabbit. Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Kill the Rabbit! Kill the Wabbit !

Anonymous said...

Why didn't Jim's kids use the dead animal as a base for "running the bases" like we used to do?

Anonymous said...

Oh just like that movie "The Gangs of Hatboro"

Ali said...

We also have a family compound, with 4 of us living less than a mile from each other. 2 months ago we moved 5 miles away. I was stressed to be moving so far away. Perspective!

Mark said...

I remember a drunken night in Edinburgh city centre many years ago which involved a Tesco carrier bag and a dead cat. Sounds similar.

Charity Donovan said...

A mother does need her sons...it's a good thing I have plenty of them.

Anonymous said...

You didn't tell me I interrrupted jammies and ice cream. I'm so sorry! But then again, I didn't call you. Mike did! I really think it was because he was chicken to get rid of the rabbit. You were my favorite that night for sure. The kids did go out early the next morning. I'm so grateful the dead rabbit wasn't there for them to see. So, I haven't seen you since! You want to savor the "favorite" element right? Make it last as long as you can? Who knows what other job may lurk at Mom's house! I love you, favorite son! Momo9

Five Left Feet said...

Ten bucks say both Mike and Jim were at home but neither wanted to clean up a dead rabbit.

tori spelling said...

given who your brothers are, i am surprised that there was actually some sort of job to do at your mom's, and they weren't just prank calling you to drive over there for no reason...

Michael said...

I'd take a dead rabbit over 12 inches of snow in a 5 car driveway anyday.

Thanks for stepping up!

Minta said...

That's so sweet your family reads and comments!