Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Mean Lady at the Church

I took this picture on Saturday May 2nd at about 11:46 AM. At the bottom of the picture is Wyatt and his cousin Valera playing nicely in the pew in front of me and Valera's mom (my sister) at their cousin's First Holy Communion.

2 Minutes Before That -My sister and I were still fighting some serious church giggles.

3 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start fighting some church giggles at the thought that the people in the pew in front of our kids probably think that Wyatt and Valera are my sister-in-law's kids. We wonder if our sister-in-law is mortified since it is her parish.

2 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start laughing at the fact that we are the Godparent's of one of the 1st Holy Communion recipients. What kind of example are we setting.

1 Minute Before That- My sister and I start laughing. In shock, but laughing.

1 Minute Before That-My anger passes.

30 Seconds Before That-I contemplate how many Hail Marys and Our Fathers I would have to say for committing the action I was just thinking about a minute ago. In Church.

1 Minute Before That- I want to smack the lady in the orange top (in the picture) in the face for treating my kid that way.

2 Minutes Before That -The woman in the orange shirt in front of Wyatt and Valera, in the most hag-like, nasty, witchy way, without warning, turns to Wyatt and Valera, who are two and 4 years old, gives them the evil eye and hisses, "SSSSHHHHHushhhhh." louder than the volume in which Wyatt and Valera were talking. She was flat out mean. Nasty. Shocking.

3o Seconds Before That- Wyatt turns to Valera in a surprised voice and says "I just heard it again. Where did that come from?" They giggle.

5 Seconds Before That - The second ringing of the Sanctus Bells.

1 Minute Before That Wyatt hears the ringing of bells and says in a surprised voice "What was that?" He and Valera start discussing where the bell noise came from.

2 Seconds Before That-The first ringing of the Sanctus Bells.

5 Minutes Before That-My sister makes a comment about how good Wyatt and Valera are behaving in church. I make a comment about how pleased I am with Wyatt's behavior.

15 Minutes Before That-Wyatt does not like sitting with me and moves to the pew in front of me where he can sit with Valera and my sister-in-law and her kids.

5 Minutes Before That-Wyatt finishes all of his distraction snacks and juice.

3 Minutes Before That- We watch the procession of the children making their 1st Holy Communion. My God daughter is the prettiest one.

8 Minutes Before That- My sister and her daughter Valera arrive. My sister sits next to me and Valera sits in the pew in front of us with the other children.

2 Minutes Before That- Wyatt is slightly antsy but behaving himself in the crowded church. He has a new book and sits quietly next to me in the pew.

6 Minutes Before That- Wyatt and I sit in a pew directly behind my sister-in-law (my brother Anonymous' wife) her children, her sisters and their kids.

30 Minutes Before That- My sister-in-law gives Wyatt a new book for him to look at when we are in church.

One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Six Years(give or take a couple of years) Before That - Matthew and Simon the Zealot get a serious case of the "Last Supper" giggles. No one shushed them.

Some Time Before That -"And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them and heal them: and his disciples rebuked them."

"But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."

Dictionary dot com's definition of Rebuke.- Verb-to express sharp, stern disapproval of; reprove; reprimand.

I don't think the the lady-in-orange knows this, but she displeased Jesus. Wyatt and Valera were angels and merely having a conversation about the service which is what I think church should be like for children. I know she was trying to be reverent and all holy roller like by trying to shush kids in church but she was just downright mean and nasty. I wonder if I did smack her if she would have been reverent and holy and turned the other cheek.

39 comments:

Charity Donovan said...

The "religious" people tend to always be so judgmental. Turning the cheek doesn't really seem to be their thing either. You may just have been turned into the sacrificial lamb for slapping the woman w/ no sense of fashion. I do think God would have forgiven you though, if He wasn't too busy cheering you on!!!

Anonymous said...

From the picture that would be a pretty big cheek to turn.

Anonymous said...

I think sh was shhhhhhing so much that she blew the back of her husbands hair off.

Anonymous said...

She should go back to chewing her cud.

Anonymous said...

I will go back to confession now.

Anonymous said...

She should use some of the moisture from her shushing and iron her shirt.

Anonymous said...

I think I asked you before but 5 minutes before this picture did you rub a balloon up against Wyatt's head?

Mrs. K said...

why the hell is she wearing a freaking t-shirt to a first communion mass? that's unheard of!

Kelly said...

My son is almost three and we get some looks. I remind myself that Jesus probably has quite a fondness for children...and prefers their innocent chatter to the judgmental glares and comments of adults.

I guess Ms. Orange doesn't have kids and skipped her own childhood, as well.

Mainline Mom said...

I agree, Wyatt was only being curious about the service and that lady was mean. We finally took Nathan to us to "big church" last week when he was whining about Sunday School. He was very good, but decided Sunday School is much more fun...which was exactly our plan.

Susie said...

You shouldn't smack her. You should behave more biblically than that. You should smite her.

JP said...

The woman forgot where she was. It's not her house, it is God's house. I liked the reverse time line format.

Bucky Four-Eyes said...

The lady in orange made baby Jesus cry.

I wonder if my verification word relates to her at all: "hookenag"

kcinnova said...

Which cheek were you intending to smack (or rather, smite)?
I prefer to shush my own kids and not other people's children. My own distract me; other kids entertain me. That is probably wrong. I enjoy the kids in the worship service, even the ones who throw a fit. I admit, when all the head-banging on the pew goes wrong and it actually hurts, I get a serious case of the church giggles myself.

eclectic said...

I won't take my kids to church, and I don't go myself anymore either. I haven't missed it.

It's easier to get an accurate picture of God without all his emissaries in the way.

littlebluerambler said...

My 2 year old yelled "all done!" every time a hymn, prayer, sermon or any part of the liturgy ended. The people around us laughed! Children are entertaining. So are old deaf people like my mom - "who's that skinny woman? What are you laughing at? This place just reeks of republicans" all said at top volume during a lull.

Patience said...

Kids should be allowed to act like kids! Even in church! They should be respectful and reasonably quiet. But God expects us all to be like little children, pure and innocent.

Pray for that woman that she learns patience.

cat said...

Oh no she DI'INT! Dude! That was, like, a vicarious shush! Or something! I mean, a shush like that?! Is totally equivalent to a "Hey, dude! Shut your kids the hell up because I am trying to LISTEN and BE HOLY! GOD!" Which, rude?

Also, as a total aside, "religious" people do not have a monopoly on being judgmental. I'm only saying.

Patience said...

I heard a minister once state in the pulpit that he would much rather hear children in church service, than not have children in church services at all! He stated that when a child was misbehaving and screaming lungs out!

Cole said...

Clearly orange dress lady is the Devil.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that special?

gordonkeefrider said...

That is just crazy. I would have been mad as well. She had no right to shush your child. There have been kids in movies (you know which you want to pay attention to) that are loud and I have never ever shushed them. Maybe if they were way out of control I would just look at them to let the parents know that maybe they should quiet them down but I go to alot of movies and have done that once. This was church. A place where forgiveness is a major teaching and she could not stand a couple of kids talking about the service. Shame on the lady in orange. Luckily for her, God will forgive her.

sari said...

OK, I couldn't even get past the second comment and lost all trail of that.

Big meanie. Jesus'll get her, don't you worry.

sari said...

Oops, I meant, I "lost all train of thought".

Sorry, I was laughing too hard.

Jo's Outlet said...

Downright hilarious! I think I almost lost it at Wyatt's reaction to the bells.

Gee, that lady sure does have balls to shush someone else's kids -- IN CHURCH! We have skids of noisy children in church - like there must be a warehouse all these families get them from because they just keep showing up in hoards - and I'd never shush a kid that didn't belong to me. Kids are just kids!!

creative breathing said...

I love Seinfeld, do you? This could be a whole backwards episode. I am so glad I am not the only one who gets the giggles in church! Happy Mother's Day to your family! Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

How dare she shush my grandchildren! Of course, I couldn't be there to defend them, cause I was at two other First Holy Communions that day, Three other grandchildren were receiving at the same time, several miles away. What's a grandmother to do? How dare she! Valera was paying attention that day too,

cause today she said the name of Jesus. When her mother asked her where she heard that, she said, At A"s church, on her First Communion day! So, there, Lady in the orange shirt!!!!

Ann said...

Preach it, Bill!

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

I would totally have gone all juvenile on her and stuck my tongue out or crossed my eyes at the kids to make them giggle, then when she turned around to shush them again, give her the hairy eyeball and the uh-uh finger wag. 'Course I'm immature like that. Also? Catholic school graduate and I don't remember too many people like her in Mass. Maybe she was visiting that day and is one of us Great Unwashed and therefore didn't know how to act in church. 'Cuz she's got no home-training. I'm just saying.
ooh, my redneck is showing

indireneed said...

Love how you have written this! Thanks for sharing...

Next time, you should totally wait until she says anything AT ALL and start Shhhh'ing her. That'd be awesome.

That made may more sense in my head.

Melinda said...

I think the mean lady in orange has got her thump on the head with this post.
Shame on her.

Mama Cass said...

Very funny...great way to tell the story! Wonder if the mean lady has kids...

kalki said...

When you act holier-than-thou to toddlers, you've got issues....

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

loveeeee this post.

The Bossy Yankee said...

I wonder if she or anyone she knows reads your blog.

Now that would be wonderful, because I wonder if people realize just how rude and obnoxious they sound. It is church and children should be welcome, especially during a 1st holy communion. Children should be seen and heard!

The Bossy Yankee said...

The more I think about it you should have said to her after the ceremony, I blog and I will be blogging about you on the internet!

No slapping literally, but a big slap in the face through words for millions to read!

Tara @ Feels like home said...

That is a very good question. I think she would have suspended her holiness long enough to NOT turn the other cheek. :)

Anonymous said...

I personally think that children should be quiet and respectful during mass, albeit the ones in the blog are young enough they can get away with it and weren't a big distraction. That's just my opinion, but that is how I was raised and the same with my little cousins. I'd never scold someone else's kids in church, but I do think that parents lack control over their kids when their kids are walking all over pews, talking during the whole mass, etc. It might seem cute and innocent to the parents, but in the long run it is harder to teach those lessons, like showing quiet respect in appropriate situations, when the kids get older. That's just my experience working with kids and looking at families that I know. For the record, I wouldn't call myself an old religious hag either.

Jelina said...
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