I am starting a list of things that were invented by people who clearly do/did not have children because if they did have kids they would have realized the absolute insanity the items on this list can cause and they would have abandoned the invention in the first place.
Item 1--Coin operated kiddie rides/mechanical horses/race cars that sit outside of grocery stores.
Item 2-- Claw and Crane toy machines.
Please add your own items in the comments.
Pixie Sticks
ReplyDeletemoon sand.
ReplyDeleteShoes that make noises.
ReplyDeleteColored play-dough that gets into your carpeting
ReplyDeletePolly Pockets, or any other toy with removable parts smaller than a newborn's fingernail
ReplyDeleteShoes that require batteries
Shelves filled with all sorts of gel or spray candy, or any candy for that matter at the check out counters.
ReplyDeleteButtons on overalls
ReplyDeleteKIDS! Who invented them? That is where the problem lies.
ReplyDeletethat lawnmower toy that goes 'clack clack clack' when you roll it...and to add insult to injury it doesn't mow shit.
ReplyDeleteFake vacuum cleaners that make noise like the aforementioned lawnmowers. And for the exact same reason!!
ReplyDeleteOh!! Those gel-gooey hands and feet that stick on walls and ceilings and leave oily marks. Hate those.
ReplyDeleteToys with sounds/lights and no off switch.
ReplyDeleteThe arcade at the movie theater! Hellloooo? It already costs like a bazillion dollars to go to the movies these days with kids & to top it off they now have an arcade at the entrance. Seriously, can we parents (or our pocketbooks) catch a break already???
ReplyDeleteHow about kids meals at various restaurants? I just LOVE going to the Olive Garden with our two year olds & order pasta. Angel Hair or Spaghetti looks SO good on the walls & floor! LOL!
ReplyDeleteToddler-sized pants with a zip-up fly and a button. Good luck getting an 18-month-old to hold still long enough to zip and button. Snaps, please!
ReplyDeleteOoh! And those "Tadoodles" crayon things from Crayola. Those tips bite off WAY easier than a regular crayon.
ReplyDeleteThe grocery carts with the truck on the front and TWO steering wheels. PLEASE. Those trucks are no where near big enough for two kids. So then it just devolves into a fight about "She's touching me! She's using MY steering wheel!"
ReplyDeleteSilly string.
ReplyDeleteWhite sofas. Say no more.
ReplyDeleteShane Harmony, Noooooo!
ReplyDeleteI Loooooove SillyString!!!
So, uh, what's wrong with the crane toys? I have been wanting to buy one for my kid ever since I never had one.
ReplyDeleteThe machines with the crap in the eggs outside the grocery store.
ReplyDeleteCandy shaped like baby bottles or pacifiers.
The kiddie playscapes that are entirely enclosed in Chickfila, or any other place, with no ventilation to clean air. Those places SMELL and are petri dishes!
ReplyDeleteCandy that is perfect choking size.
ReplyDeleteWhite carpet.
White anything for that matter. :)
How about goody bags from parties? Okay, sure, I enjoyed them when I was younger too. But as a parent I find them aggravating. A bag full of a bunch of plastic junk toys from the dollar store that my children then break into pieces over the next few hours/days and I have to throw out. Just give them some extra cake or something. lol.
sugar who was the dumb ass that made it legal to give kids sugar
ReplyDeletetoy drums.
ReplyDeleteOf course not! They were made by people who KNOW kids...and love $!
ReplyDeleteI vote for Webkinz. :)
flip flops for kids who just barely learned to walk.
ReplyDeleteHello?
I can barely walk without flipping those things off from time to time...and I live in the hottest place on earth...where we have spring, summer, and winter flip flops.
Ugh.
I'm with Erin -- no pants for little boys and girls need zippers and buttons! Good heed! Elastic waist bands are quick and easy...and comfy. I wish ALL women's pants were made with elastic waist bands so if I wanted to wear them I wouldn't feel like an old lady.
ReplyDeletelittle girl play makeup and nail polish with the glitter that sticks to everything (or so I've heard. We don't have a girl.)
ReplyDeleteThis isn't an invention, but...
ReplyDeleteWHO decided it was such a hot idea to put the candy aisles near the cash registers on the way out of the grocery stores???