Friday, June 29, 2007

Cold Duck

There is an episode of Welcome Back Kotter, where Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington gets hooked on drugs. In an effort to show their friend the bad effect of drugs, Juan Epstein, Vinny Barbarino and Horshack act like they are on drugs themselves.

Vinny Barbarino, played by John Travolta, does his best to act like one of those "druggie people" and he slouches around saying, "Gimme drugs, gimme drugs." I remember seeing this episode when I was a kid and I always found it funny.

Two weeks ago we took Maxfield's pacifier away from him. He only used it at night for comfort at bedtime. We made him quit cold turkey. The first few nights were rough, but after that he seemed to do okay.

Wyatt, who has never used a pacifier, has recently found some. Wyatt does not suck on them but more or less chews on them to ease the pain of teething. Every now and then, when Max is helping us put Wyatt to bed, he see the pacifiers in Wyatt's crib and he asks for one.

He sounds just like Vinny Barbarino in this video clip. Except Max says, "Gimme binks, Gimme binks."

Thursday, June 28, 2007

10 years ago

Ten years ago, today, I met my wife (who I sometimes refer to as my ex-girldfriend because once we got married she was no longer my girlfriend) Lauren.

This morning, as I sat in my parent's kitchen, I smiled at her and said, "Happy Anniversary of the night we met."

She smiled back and said, "Yeah, and look where we are now."

We both laughed and after a moment of reflection she said "Isn't it amazing how the littlest of things can all add up to something big?"

We then chatted about all the little things about the night we met and how if the slightest of circumstances would have been different we may not be married now. The complete story is here. We talked about me sitting with my friend PJ, waiting for my food, and the fact if I did not have to wait the few extra minutes, I would not have talked to her.

"Would you still have noticed me though?" Lauren asked sipping her coffee.

"Oh yeah. PJ and I were doing the whole "check her out" thing that guys do." I said. "But if someone in that kitchen was on the ball that night, and I got my food on time, I would have eaten and left. I would never have talked to you. I wonder what would have happened?"

Lauren laughed. "I would probably be married to PJ."

I love my ex-girlfriend.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Chip off the old...

It is times like this that Lauren claims he looks just like me.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Wyatt Walking

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Wyatt started walking this week.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Stores are too close

The place on the right is owned by the same people as the place on the left. The place on the right does manicures and pedicures etc. The place on the left serves delicious Chinese food except their rice is really really crunchy.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Kibbles and Bits

A few weeks ago we attended a graduation party for my cousin. There were tons of people there and the weather was not the best so most were confined inside the house. My aunt, who was throwing the party, has two dogs. Knowing that not all people are dog people, she locked them in a crate in a bedroom at the top of the steps. Anytime someone arrived, the dogs would bark and it piqued the interest of Maxfield. He wanted to see the dogs.

There were several children in Max’s age group that wanted to see the dogs as well. Every now and then they would gather at the bottom of the steps and I would walk them up to pet the dogs through the wires of the dog crate. Half way up the steps, most of the other children would become fearful and go back downstairs. Except for Max and Ryan. Max and Ryan, both three years old and both “dog owners” themselves, made the trip upstairs about a dozen times.

At one point, my cousin MB and her boyfriend, the owners of the male cocker spaniel, had to take the dog outside so it could pee. Max and Ryan couldn’t wait to be able to pet the dog once it was outside the confines of the crate. I took them both outside onto the porch and waited for dog to finish its business.

MB’s boyfriend walked the dog back to the porch and offered Max a Ryan a chance to play with dog. He was real careful to explain to me that the dog was still a puppy and somewhat jumpy. He held the dog tight by the collar while the boys gently scratched its chin and ears. The dog's tail was wagging with appreciation.

Seeing how much the dog was enjoying the attention and that Max and Ryan were not afraid he said, “Guys? You want to scratch the dog’s belly? He really likes that.”

They both nodded.

MB’s boyfriend then crouched down, picked up the dog and sort of cradled it exposing the dog’s underside. MB’s boyfriend then stood up putting the dog’s underside at eye level to the boys.

And before I could even get any words out of my mouth I watched both Max and Ryan reach directly towards the dog’s pecker and rub vigorously.

The dog, suddenly, was extremely happy.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I like music. My tastes are all over the place, but for the most part I like songs that I can sing to when I am alone in my car.

If you grew up as a child of the 80’s, like I did, you may be familiar with the band Men at Work. Their videos were on MTV and they were quite popular. Although, I have to admit there was only one person that I knew in middle school, that actually claimed she was a fan and that was my friend Tara*. We used to mock her for liking Men At Work, because seriously, how could you like a band like that, when there were bands like Asia , Styx and Foreigner?

Anyway, Colin Hay, the lead singer of Men at Work, did an acoustic version of the Song Overkill for something or other, that ended up on the TV show Scrubs soundtrack CD. I listen to that CD all the time because it has a great mix of songs that I can belt out, to and from work.

The Overkill lyrics start with:

“I can’t get to sleep,
I think about the implications,
Of diving in too deep,
and possibly the complications.”

If you are familiar with this song you are probably singing it to yourself right now. The song is about laying awake at night feeling stressed out.

The chorus of the song is:

“Day after Day it appears,
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear,
Nurse a beer and fade away.
Come back another day.”

Yesterday while driving to work, I didn’t feel like singing. I just listened. As the chorus part played my face reddened with the flush of embarrassment. I was embarrassed for myself and at myself.

The lyrics are “Ghosts appear and fade away.”

NOT “Nurse a beer and fade away.”

I have been singing this song incorrectly for a couple of years now.

Have you ever done that? What song and lyrics have you messed up?

*Dear Tara,
About two years ago I ended up buying the Best of Men At Work CD and I really like it. You were ahead of your time. I apologize about ridiculing your taste in music, except Duran Duran. I still think they suck.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

How good she has it

Last week, Lauren and I were in bed watching Super Nanny. I don’t watch Super Nanny for the parenting tips. I watch it to feel better about how my kids behave. The kids on that show are edited to make them look like little demons and I always think, “At least my kids are not that bad.”

The other thing that Super Nanny shows is how, most often, one parent, usually the dad, is not pulling their own weight when it comes to raising the kids. The episode we were watching, the dad would come home from work and immediately go to the gym. He would not be around to give the mom a break.

I turned to Lauren and said, “See how good you have it Lauren? I don’t go to the gym.”

She turned her head slightly in my direction, her eyes scanned my body and they stopped at my belly. She said, “Oh, yes, I know that.”

Monday, June 18, 2007

Father's Day

For the past 11 years, my family has spent Father's Day at Philadelphia Park Race Track. We, eat, drink and gamble (some more than others) and it is always a good time.

This year I was looking forward to bringing Maxfield to the track and teach him about horse racing. He is finally at the age where he can pronounce "trifecta" and could appreciate the finer points of heckling horses.

Since the races happen in the middle of the day and would conflict with Wyatt's nap time, Lauren decided to stay at her parents house with Wyatt.

Judging by the pictures and the fact that I lost 20 bucks, who do you think had a better afternoon?

"Where is our horse Daddy?"
Maxfield watching as our horse loses.

Wyatt raiding Mom Mom's liquor cabinet.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father is only half a word

Why is it always a Mother F-er and never a Father F-er?

For Father's Day you should click over to the BlogFathers. Once you are there you should click on some of the links to the other fathers that contribute to the Blogfathers. They are all some funny Fathers.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Charlie. Oscar. David. Echo.

My last name is often misspelled. It ends with the letter “M” but most people, after I spell it out for them, hear the last letter as an “N”. My social security card is spelled with an “N”. My drivers license with an “M”. My insurance card has an “N”.

Now whenever I have to give out my email or spell my name for someone I always end the spelling of my name by saying, “M as in Mary”. People still get it wrong. I guess they think I say "N" as in Nary. I don't know why I use "Mary" instead of "Michael". I just do.

Part of my job, when talking with customers, requires me to use a series of letters and numbers. In an effort to avoid confusion with letters that sound the same, like “B” and “P” I use a phonetic alphabet. I do not use the official military Phonetic Alphabet (Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta etc.) but I basically make it up as I go along. Most people just substitute common names or animals instead of the letter. I also don’t say the “as in” part (unless the situation requires that I do). Each word I use is the letter itself. So if I were to spell my first name for someone it would sound like “Baker, Indian, Larry, Larry.”

Sometimes I chuckle at some of the words people come up with when they are using their own phonetic alphabet. Recently someone was giving me a tracking number of some sorts and used “Champagne” and “Vodka” for the letters “C” and “V”. It gave a slight insight to what they were thinking.

So I am asking you, blog commenters, how would you, using as a phonetic alphabet, spell your first name? Don’t think too much about it; just leave a comment with how you would normally spell it out.

Monday, June 11, 2007

A year already?

They say "time flies", "they grow up so fast", etc. etc. Man it is amazing how true those statements are. Especially since I started keeping the blog and can look back at what I wrote and when.

Like this for instance. Can you believe that was a year ago? For the full story click here, here, and here.

Happy Birthday Wyatt Blue!

Friday, June 08, 2007

I would use this guy

Let's face it, he is no Lawnwhisperer, but his name alone would make me hire him.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Can I borrow your towel. My car just hit a water buffalo.

Last night I had a proud parenting moment.

I was trying to get Maxfield to settle down for the night and I was letting him lay in my bed with me as we watched some TV. I started flipping through the channels in an effort to find something that Max could watch and that he would like. I came across the movie Fletch.

I put the clicker down and started to watch.

"Whats' that Daddy?" Max asked pointing to the TV.

"Only the second greatest movie ever." I said.

I laid down on my stomach and pulled a pillow under my chest. Max did the same. He was hooked. We watched in silence.

Fletch is one of those movies that, even though I own it on DVD, if I come across it on TV I have to watch it.

Do you have any movies like that?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Bad address

We were driving to an appointment to look at a house when Lauren noticed an "Open House" sign on another street.

"Look Bill." Lauren said. "There is an open house down that road."


"On Dick Avenue." She replied. "Do you want to go?"

"No. I don't care how nice a house is, I could not live on a street named Dick Avenue. My brothers would have a field day with that address."

She laughed. "It would take your brothers about 20 years before they would take our address seriously...if ever."

Monday, June 04, 2007

Wyatt's 1st Haircut



Friday, June 01, 2007

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